


The Fire in Those Eyes

by blue_twinkly_lights



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Abused Harry Potter, Alternate Universe - Harry Potter Setting, Dolores Umbridge Being an Asshole, Dolores Umbridge is Her Own Warning, Gay, Gay Male Character, Harry Potter Has Issues, Harry Potter Has Nightmares, Harry Potter Has PTSD - Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, Harry Potter Has Secrets, Lily Evans Potter & Severus Snape Friendship, M/M, Mentor Severus Snape, POV Harry Potter, Powerful Harry, Severus Snape Has a Heart, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-10
Updated: 2020-10-26
Packaged: 2021-02-28 23:08:59
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Underage
Chapters: 10
Words: 26,365
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23095369
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blue_twinkly_lights/pseuds/blue_twinkly_lights
Summary: "You think I'm like him don't you?"Silence met him."I'm not," talking to the literal Professor of the Potions classroom seemed awfully asinine, but he kept going anyway. "I'm not his replica, I'm not him," He wasn't his father, he wasn't James. "so stop treating me like I am." With those words ringing through the corridor, he turned and brushed past heading for Gryffindor tower, his heart beating much faster than before.It had taken a lot of guts, but with those words, Harry Potter had somehow managed to make his Potions Master fall into the deep dark abyss that is love.
Relationships: Harry Potter/Severus Snape
Comments: 19
Kudos: 472





	1. Scorching Flames

**Author's Note:**

> In this fic Harry is about 15-turning 16-which in this book is the age where a wizard becomes a technical adult-so there won't be much with the minor stuff, just ya know, fluff n shit-his parents died yes, but it follows no direct line with canon and the amount of magic mentioned is minimal so don't expect much of a canon following for the plotline.
> 
> I'm not all super familar with magic or how a lot works in the Harry Potter universe so don't hate on me if I get something wrong okay? lol I just couldn't help myself, I had to write one.

During the springtime, Harry had felt the shift, that had been when this feeling had arisen in him. It had been subtle and completely unexpected, unwanted for sure, but nonetheless it confused him to no end. It had been detention for god's sake, nothing to be excited about, yet what had occurred in that detention had set his mind into gear, and it just wouldn't stop working.

He just couldn't keep his mouth shut, he had seen inside Snape's mind, he knew why the man treated him as such. Thinking him to be like someone else when in all reality he was nothing like him.

A simple brush really, he'd turned and ran straight into the blasphemous man himself, still obviously pissed about having been given detention for his lunch hour, and had gotten right in his Potions Master's face. Undeterred and unmoving he had no idea what force had allowed him to stand in that man's presence for so long without looking away like a kicked dog. He had never noticed until then how dark exactly Snape's eyes had been, and within them sat a torrent of secrets, lies, lost love and something Harry couldn't even hope to fathom.

Something had sparked there within their close proximity, the brush of Harry's fingers against Snape's cloaked arm as he brushed past, his face heating. He could see it in his eyes, an unfamiliar emotion that brought forth flames and ignited Harry's interest, he knew that he needed to be careful, however, lest he be burned by the flames that scorched in those dark eyes.

* * *

As he walked into the great hall Harry immediately found Hermione and Ron, sitting quickly and filling his plate.

"Harry? Why are you here you early? I thought Professor Snape gave you detention?" Hermione inquired inquisitively, tearing a piece from her bread as she did so.

"Yeah mate, I thought you were in the dragon's lair for lunch?" Ron's mouth was full, but Harry was less disgusted by it than Hermione so he explained vaguely was his return was so soon.

"He let me go early." Which was a total lie, Harry had practically fled the room, quick feet, and racing heart. He hadn't even asked before he left, he just did. He expected another detention within the hour no doubt, and that thought made lunch all the more wonderful, so he was going to enjoy it.

"What are you? His favorite?" Ron quired as a piece of the sandwich he was devouring fell back onto his plate. Hermione groaned silently.

"Maybe..." Harry replied, and he was left to eat his lunch in silence for the rest of the break, not even lifting his eyes as long legs and dark robes whisked past him, towards the staff table. He sighed as he got up to leave, he had Herbology next, which thankfully was an easy class.

He didn't know what he would do if he had Potion's next.

God forbid.

* * *

For the next couple of days, Harry had found that he had been unable to rest, his head had been filled with dreams-more like nightmares-and they plagued him even in the day it seemed. He rubbed at his eyes furiously as he stepped into the one class he'd been dreading today as well.

Potions.

He'd been able to escape fairly quickly at the end of each class, zipping out from between people. It would only work for so long he knew, and the Professor was literally-well figuratively- burning holes into the side of his head as he appeared, sitting quickly next to Ron. Once everyone arrived, Harry watched with neat fascination as Snape's hands moved through the air. The man had always had that dramatic air about him, not in the things that he did or such, but the way he moved-slow, measured, never missing a beat-Harry only began to notice these things when he watched the man, and he never thought that it would intrigue him so.

Swallowing, his eyes trailed to the long fingers that Snape possessed, watching their little dance as they moved about the air, gesturing to nothing in particular. It was mesmerizing on a level that of which Harry didn't believe he could fall victim to, yet here he was, entranced entirely by his Professor's long fingers. A sharp jab to his ribs had him snapping his head to the right, where Ron not so subtly gestured to the front of the room, and to all the people watching him.

"Um," He swallowed again, this time for a different reason. "I'm sorry Professor but-"

"Let me guess," The man scowled again and Harry took in a low shallow breath. "You were... _distracted?_ " It wasn't the word itself-for yes, he was _distracted_ -but it had been the way the man had said it. That underlying tone of knowing that made Harry shiver in fear. That he somehow _knew_ what Harry had been watching, what he had been thinking, and it made Harry freeze on the spot, a curt sharp nod his only response that signaled he was ready for Snape's carefully worded comeback.

"Unsurprising, perhaps another detention is required to refocus you?" Harry felt all his muscles tense again, and for once he was unsure of his answer. A part of him- a part he refused to name-wanted to see what would occur if he was left alone with that man again, what carefully measured steps they would take, what direction it would lead them to. The other-more rational- part told him that he'd have to be an absolute masochist to want another detention with Snape, even though the last hadn't been that bad.

He kept quiet, and all eyes were still on him even as he continued to look into the slightly calmer eyes of his Potions Master. Silence continued to ensue, but Harry wasn't backing down on this, he felt as if he'd lose a silent battle, one he desperately wished to win. Professor Snape crept closer, and Harry felt Ron shift away from him, he could see them again. The flames that burned withing those eyes, he was seeing them again, dark and so dangerous. Yet once again, however, Harry was unafraid, standing his ground. He could see it, just as he had before, that little shift, one that no one would witness unless they were watching.

It was then that he heard the shuffle of feet, as people packed up to leave, no longer paying attention to them.

"Perhaps," Snape spoke, his tone much harsher than before, Harry felt himself shrink in. "If you had parents, you would know that it is incredibly rude to not respond to your elder." Harry hadn't an idea what had driven the man to say such a thing, but he knew that his in his chest, it felt as if a stake had been stabbed there. Harry rose quickly and he only managed to catch a glimpse of the regret on Snape's face as he practically ran from the room.

He was wrong, those flames weren't interesting or intriguing, they were dangerous.

And they hurt like hell.

* * *

He hadn't been able to sleep, he just kept waking up, thoughts of earlier today still mulling around in his mind. It was ridiculous really, absolutely asinine that such thoughts were keeping him awake. It was hard to ignore all of it, so he went to the Library, his feet hitting the floor beneath him with a form of quiet that he had tried and failed to perfect yet. His cloak was around him, as it always was, just so he could go without the scathing that would come with being out past curfew. He was undeniably grateful for the cloak, as it had been his silent savor in many times of need.

Forcing the library door open, he was relieved to note that it was empty for the night, so that meant that none of the Professors' had decided on some late-night reading that would surely foil his plan. With a grunt, he managed to close the large door, and he made his way towards a section that was very rarely touched. He wasn't committing a large crime or anything by being here, but it would dock points from his house if he was caught, so he made sure he was as light as possible as he made his way down a narrow path.

The Library was dark, all the candles put out, so it made sneaking through easier. He slid down near the end of the shelf where it met with a window. He didn't take much time to marvel at the full moon, or the stars, he just leaned heavily against one of the bookshelves and pulled out a book that he'd held many times before.

He flicked it open, hoping to see their smiling faces once again if only to keep it in his memory a little longer. Every day was a challenge for him, never knowing if the next day he'd be alive or dead drove him to many sleepless nights, often ending up with him sitting right here. Snape's venomous words from earlier still rang clear in his head. He'd been told worse, but to be told such a thing by him...it hurt a lot more than it should, that was for sure.

He paused on a picture, and he took an extra-long moment to study it. He had never quite seen this one, he was always searching for ones of them together, doing things that people in love did, but he hadn't expected this.

In the moving picture, there was a woman, one he'd come to know through these pictures, with red hair, and her arm slung around a scowling boy, with long dark hair and an almost too-long nose, it seemed like the woman was the only one smiling. Just as the picture went to restart, however, Harry noticed the faintest markings of a smile appearing across that boy's face, before the picture restarted all over again.

From his eyes, he could feel the wetness develop, and his blurry eyes went to the next picture, watching as that same woman was suddenly picked up and swung in a circle, with those closed eyes and a smile that could light up the world. The man holding her sharing in her brightness, all glasses and dark hair, before it started all over again, and tears began to fall from Harry's eyes.

He sucked in a breath suddenly, trying his best not to break. He knew that no one would see, but that still didn't make it pathetic. He felt his throat closing as more tears began to fall, the burning from his throat made him try to hold it all in-he failed, miserably so. He sat there for a while, mourning the loss of those wonderful people, that he would never ever get the chance to see, to meet, to be apart of. The crippling loneliness was there still, but it just felt more heavy sitting here, in this dark space, with only his tears to comfort him.

"Potter." It made him stop, his sob stuck in his throat, why oh god, why? Now he'd be given detention again, and his house would get docked points just so he could indulge in picture's that held people he didn't even know. This was all too much, couldn't he just cry in peace and then return tomorrow, but with fewer pieces of his being? He recognized that voice too, despite the ringing in his ears and the pounding in his head, he knew that Snape had been the one to find him in such a state, the thought didn't comfort him.

He stood, without a second thought, and the cloak slipped to his shoulders. He could only stare at the shoes of his professor, shiny in the moonlight, and eerily more preferable than the man's dark eyes right now. He had never quite taken into account how much taller Snape was compared to himself, he only reached the man's shoulder, no matter what, he was sure Snape would only see him as a wet-eared brat until he grew taller, which Harry highly doubted would happen any time soon.

"It's past curfew." Snape's tone wasn't contradictory, it was soft, calm, telling. Harry nodded, not trusting his cracking voice one bit at the moment.

Harry sniffed and wiped at his glasses, having to take them off. Really he was just giving his hands something to do, for they were shaking so badly, and he invited the distraction. Everything was still blurry, but in all reality that was just going to make this easier on Harry, if he couldn't see, then maybe he could pretend in the morning that this had never happened, and Snape had not seen him in such an...disconcerting position.

"She was always smiling, you know."Harry sniffed again, and Snape continued quietly, his voice hardly above a whisper. "Lily truly had the most beautiful smile..." Harry couldn't even count the seconds that it took for him to jump at the man then, flinging his arms anywhere he could grab on. The cloak fell away from him as Snape stumbled backward into the other shelf, Harry refused to let go, gripping tightly to the man's robes, a silent plea for that comfort he could find nowhere else.

Snape was rigid in Harry's tight embrace, and Harry breathed down the man's neck quickly, losing his breath due to his lack of said breath. The man hadn't moved, and Harry didn't think that he would, not until he let go. Harry-not wanting to make this situation any more awkward than it already was-slowly slid down until his feet hit the floor. He wanted to say one last thing before this conversation would be gone forever-never to be brought up again. The words were already slipping out of his mouth before he could even relinquish his hold on the taller man.

"She," He tried again. "She was very beautiful..." Though in that moment he knew the older man would come to regret it, Harry knew that he would treasure such an act of kindness until he met with fate.

"Never speak of this to anyone Potter."

With long fingers gliding through his slightly-longer hair, Harry held to the words that slipped from those long thin lips, his breath pressed to the side of a warm neck.

"I know she was," and with them he came undone, letting the dam break lose. "I know..." Snape only stood there, unmoving as Harry sobbed till his throat was raw, and his cheeks were stained red.

"I'm sorry for earlier today, it was uncalled for." Even as he heard the words, Harry knew they were slightly forced, he didn't blame the man however, he had ego and pride to protect, his hate for Harry probably didn't help the situation much either.

"I know..." He said, and he would've laughed at the irony, if not for the pain in his throat. "It's okay..." He had no idea if it was real or not, maybe he was just hearing himself, but he could've sworn that he felt Snape relax and breathe out a slow, agonizing breath. Harry buried himself in the man, taking in the subtle scent of aftershave and pine, he sat there, lulling himself to unconsciousness with Snape's addictive scent.

So much for keeping distance.


	2. Underlying Tones

There was a difference, he noted offhandedly. He could feel it with the tips of his fingers, through the thick and heavy material of the robes that were standard for every student. The difference that was there was clearly well hidden, and while Potter himself could forget about such a thing, he knew that it would be impossible to forget the very prominent ribs under his fingers.

Still, they sat, in the library, Snape unwilling and Potter having passed out. With a scowl on his features, Snape slid them to the ground, and he searched once more for a presence that he couldn't find. Dumbledore, he knew that was who it was. Even if it wasn't he was sure that the man would know in the morning anyway,so it mattered not.

With a barely withheld groan, Snape worked his arms underneath Potter's own and worked him around to where he could carry the boy without trouble. When he went to lift the boy, however, he was startled beyond belief to realize that the boy was so _light._ So _thin,_ and dare he say it... _fragile._ How could Potter be so impossibly small? He was nearly sixteen for merlin's sake! While he wouldn't outwardly show it, he would rather die than allow Potter to know he felt anything less than hatred for him, he was...mildly concerned for the boy's health.

Could it be that Potter just wasn't eating enough? Or could it be some form of depression? That was a bit far fetched, however, and he highly doubted that was the case. The boy would never fall to something so pathetic surely, so without a second thought, Snape disregarded the notion. Instead, he focused on where exactly he would bring the boy. Oh, Merlin's beard, he couldn't bring him back to Gryffindor, that would cause far too much unwanted attention that Snape would rather avoid.

He could just settle him in the hospital wing, after a moments thought Snape also disregarded that choice of action, finding that he could do without the earful from Poppy right now. Tomorrow wasn't a class day, it was Saturday thankfully. He could just leave the boy outside the entrance to Gryffindor Tower and be done with this whole mess really.

The plan didn't seem all that bad, and for a minute he actually considered it. That was until Potter shifted against him and he had to readjust his hands-thus causing him to feel the outline of Potter's malnourished frame. It was sick really, and it left a bitter taste in Snape's mouth that he pointedly ignored. Giving a low sigh he began to walk, adjusting the boy so that his head rested against his chest. Doing so caused the smaller boy's glasses to fall further down the bridge of his nose, giving Snape an ethereal view of Potter's sinfully long lashes.

Had the boy always had such a slender aura to him? By no means did he resemble anything remotely feminine, he looked every bit like a teenage boy, yet he had a certain...vantage about him that subtly reminded the Potions Master of a more dainty lifeform-a part that didn't resemble a man. Snape had a hard time drawing his eyes away from the sight, and as he did he groaned again. It wouldn't do if he was distracted and came upon someone else, so perhaps apparition would be the answer for now.

Vaguely he thought about his study, and low behold before he knew it that was where he was. He didn't care for this course of action at all, but he had nowhere else to bring the boy without suffering consequences that he would rather avoid. Heading to the far door he quickly opened it and found himself in his personal common room. Dark for now, but he'd start a fire when he let the boy down. He stopped for a moment and considered where he would place the boy. His couch was already off the list, it being covered in clothes and other off-handed objects he'd disregarded there. His guest room most likely wasn't in better condition-he'd been stocking his ingredients in there for so long he highly doubted that it would be suited for someone to rest in. That left one last option, and Snape felt a sneer curling at his lips at the very idea.

Potter.

In his bed.

Merlin, he was over this already.

Pushing down his absolute hate for the very idea, Snape made his way to possibly the cleanest area of his quarters. His door was already open, so he shuffled in as quietly as he could. When it came to his sleeping space he was a bit tidier than his common room-that of which no one was ever present in anyway-so his bed was already presentable and from the luminescent light filtering in through his magic window he couldn't see any discarded clothing, so there was that in the least. Breathing out through his nose, Snape settled the smaller boy on his bed, doing his best to lay Potter's head on the pillow.

Snape grasped the edge of his dark duvet, pulling it over the shivering frame. With a gentleness that he didn't know he possessed, Snape grasped Potter's glasses and folded them neatly, placing them on the bedside table. He couldn't do much more for the boy, other than let him sleep. He watched Potter for a moment then-only doing so because he knew that no one else could see-and he found himself thinking back on Potter's words from earlier today.

He hadn't a clue what had driven the boy to say such a thing, as it was an odd outburst for Potter, but it had gotten to him he had to admit. Perhaps Potter had become fed up with his constant glaring, or maybe it had been how unconsciously Snape had made the boy into a version of James that he could pick apart. Petty as it was, Snape had been doing so for as long as he'd known Potter, uncaring of how it made the boy feel.

"I'm not his replica, I'm not him,"

"So stop treating me like I am."

He had been wrong, that much Snape could admit. He had made an innocent child into the monster of his own childhood.

And that...

That was unfair of him, he had never even given Potter a remote chance.

With a final look at the smaller boy sleeping peacefully in his bed, Snape turned away.

He had papers to grade anyway.

* * *

With brandy scorching at his throat, Snape sighed. Tomorrow would no doubt be a day that he would come to regret-hell he hadn't even done anything yet and he was already regretting it. Potter had been in his head all day, and in a strange way, he hadn't even tried to remove the boy from his mind. He hadn't tried for he knew that it would be an unfulfilling effort, one that he would only be frustrated with. So he'd allowed his mind to wander, mulling over the fact that he would soon forget and he would no longer have to think of such a git of a boy any longer.

He was sorely disappointed to discover that such a thing would not occur. He would still have to deal with the boy even though all he'd tried to do was read a book before he set off to bed that night. Only to find that his plans were once again ruined by that of Harry Potter. He swirled his drink idly as he tossed the name about in his head for a moment, he was on his fourth one by now and his mind was looser, open. Such an interesting name-Harry, if he had to think about it, Snape didn't think he'd ever met anyone else with the name Harry.

It was a good name too, it suited Potter well, it seemed like it would just roll off the tongue, wanting to test such a notion for himself Snape sat forward at his desk.

"Harry..." When he got no response he sighed. He looked toward the window, no longer seeing the moon, he decided that it was probably a convenient time to go to bed. Shoving away from his desk Snape stretched as he entered his living quarters. He made straight for his room, discarding his long robes somewhere along the way, stripping away his dirty button-down shirt. Left in nothing more than his slacks Snape looked toward the lump of a figure occupying his bed, and with something that was not quite a groan he decided that he should probably keep his pants on for the night.

He headed to the opposite side of the bed and ungracefully laid down. He'd be lucky if he got any sleep tonight, but he honestly felt that tonight he might get something more than just a couple hours. Of course, it had to be when there were no classes the following day, but rest was rest, so he wouldn't complain too much. Turning towards Potter, Snape felt his eyes droop further, he reached for the blanket, but his hand ended up on the surprising curve space that was Harry Potter's hip. Recoiling, Snape grabbed the duvet and threw it over himself, resting his head on his pillow, his eyes zeroing in on the hair on the back of Potter's neck.

He could blame the alcohol later, but Snape reached out, and placed his hand back on Harry's hip, pulling him closer, if only for warmth or that underlying curiosity that had persisted and pestered him all day. He would come to regret almost all of his actions today, so he could say it without hesitation right now.

"You are something special boy," Nothing but the silence of his room continued.

"I just hope I'm not wrong Potter." No one would answer him, so there wasn't really a point in talking, but he didn't stop either.

"I really hope I'm not..."

"Harry..."

With that, Snape fell into a peaceful sleep, with a body warming his bed for the first time in forever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh goodness, I'm so tired right now. This is really popular already, and I'm having a lot of fun writing it. lol please enjoy this chapter with little to no dialogue and SNAPE


	3. Do You Like Sugar?

He had always prided himself on being an early riser, and for this time he was more than a little thankful for that trait. It had been a pleasant awakening, the sun just barely cusping the mountain tops, and the birds chirping an incessant amount for such an early time. Snape groaned, pulling himself closer to whatever it was that was so damn warm.

He inhaled deeply trying to fall back into a hopefully restful sleep. It wouldn't do for him to get up earlier than necessary really. It was Saturday, so there wasn't much of a problem when it came to sleep, all he had to do today was grade papers, so he wasn't going to miss much. Sighing he grabbed harder, wanting to be as warm as possible in his surprisingly cold room, the fire didn't run all night it seemed he was however really quite exhausted last night, so it would explain why his magic closed itself.

He wanted to go back to sleep, he wanted to fall into that abyss of darkness once again, he wanted to just fall back asleep. His stupid mind wouldn't even allow him that it seemed, however, and he groaned once again, thinking of how early it was and how much sleep he could be getting. Why couldn't he fall back asleep? He knew that he should wake, up but for whatever reason he just couldn't seem to remembe-

Did...did he just hear a _noise?_

It was like a groan, but not quite, a noncommital sound that he himself was used to making in the morning. His body went rigid with that realization and he had to withhold himself from jerking violently away from the _person_ , that he was _holding_ right now.

_God, why? Why me?_

With a scowl forming on his features, Snape opened his eyes and saw that in front of him, yes, there lay Harry Potter, The Boy Who Lived, his most hated, in a sense, student that he had ever had the privilege of teaching. He felt a shameful flush come upon himself in that moment, as he watched the slightly parted lips of Harry, of The Chosen One, as he breathed slightly, and god if he could only admit this right now he would not deny that the boy looked so positively lovely laying there, in his arms, looking like he'd been ravished.

It just wasn't _fair._

God help him-his next thoughts were not ones he was proud of-he wanted to see those beautiful green eyes, he wanted to see them glimmer in the morning sunlight if only to see them, not for anything that he had yet to decipher within himself. He hadn't a clue why, but the desire to see such a thing, Potter waking and a flush bearing down on his cheeks like he'd sinned-very much resembling a man gone-god he wanted to see it.

He froze at his own thoughts and felt a growl rumbling within himself. What was wrong with him? He really must've had too much to drink last night, he shouldn't have drunk himself to exhaustion, it was a bad habit to develop so late in his life, one that his body seemed utterly content with keeping.

To be fair, he was only in his mid-thirties but he felt a lot older as of recently. With a careful hand, he removed his arm from underneath the boy and watched as the smaller male adjusted to his new position, turning into the pillows and groaning. Snape froze instantly, not wanting to wake the boy, or have a confrontation, for really, he could get out of the bed right now and the boy would know no different from what he was told.

Brillant and in his favor, two things he liked more than anything in the world.

He slipped from the bed, only a slight pang of guilt embedding in his chest as he watched the boy look for the lacking warmth that had left him. He turned towards the door, intent on making coffee and starting a fire. Perhaps he could clean up his common room as well? It wouldn't do for Potter to know how disorganized with his own living space.

As he made to the door, he watched the boy for just a moment, only after noticing that the boy wouldn't turn his way did Snape remove his eyes from the back of Harry's neck and the ruffled robes that he wore.

He truly was a lovely sight to behold.

Not that he'd ever tell the boy that.

_Never._

* * *

When he'd awoke he'd been hit with what anyone would call a massive headache. Bloody hell it hurt so badly, it felt as if he'd been hit in the head with a sack of bricks! Where was he? Perhaps a teacher had found him and returned him to his dormitory after all, docking points on his behalf. He was about to snort, but the flood of memories from the night before hit him and he stopped breathing.

Long arms encasing him, tears, cruel words, and the whispered words of threat that lacked an edge.

_"Never speak of this to anyone Potter."_

Oh, Merlin, even thinking about it sent his heart into a frenzy, making his mind whirl with what-ifs and why's, he swallowed and grasped at the thick and heavy duvet beneath him.

Wait, he hadn't a duvet in his dormitory, where in God's name was he?

The last thing he remembered was soaking Snape's robes with his tears and that was a more embarrassing quality to the previous night that he refused to acknowledge. Then he must've passed out on the bitter man, not exactly something he wanted to acknowledge either.

He opened his eyes, feeling the anxiousness of uncertainty seeping in, but everything was blurry. His hand felt around next to him, finding a warm spot, and as he turned his face that way he could smell something that just smelled so _good,_ and for a word to describe it, he would have to decide on _mature_.

Throwing the very warm and soft blanket away, he blindly (literally) reached for his glasses, and he found them on a table adjacent to where he slept just moment's previous. Quickly he slipped them on and watched in fascination as a room that he'd never in his life seen before, unfolded before him. It was mostly dark, not as in the lighting, but as in the color code, it seemed to run by. In one corner a cherrywood desk sat, many stacks of paper and more assorted desk items lay there, unorganized but still visible. In another, there was a long dresser, and atop it sat a couple picture frames, and one stack of sloppily stacked clothes.

Harry's eyes, however, focused on the two doors that connected this room to other ones. One was ajar slightly, and it revealed to Harry that a bathroom lay beyond it. A shower sounded divine right now, but first, he had to figure out where he was. The other door was shut completely and as Harry slipped from the bed, faintly registering that he still wore his robes, he heard a noise from the other side.

"Fuck!"

Well, not exactly a _noise,_ but it was a _sound._

So someone was here! This was someone's room? He looked toward to window, finding that he was still at Hogwarts, but it looked as if he was so high up! Like at the top of the giant castle, he hadn't a clue that anyone was staying all the way up here, he idly wondered how he'd never heard about it.

Heading for the door, Harry reached for his wand...only to find that it wasn't there. He'd left it back in his room! God, some wizard he was turning out to be! Looking quickly around the room, he reached for the deadliest thing he could find within his reach.

Which just so happened to be a jar of some sort, and in it, there was some purplish liquid that he'd never seen in his entire life, but he wasn't about to start asking questions. With a racing heart, Harry opened the door, and peeked out, he was shocked to discover that no one was out there. Dropping his guard momentarily Harry proceeded through the door, looking to his right, trying to discover the voice from before.

"What are you doing Pott-"

"AHHHH!"

Scared out of his mind Harry screamed and swung around, barely missing Snape's head with the jar. The older man stumbled backward, hitting the mantle with his shoulder roughly, and cursing lowly under his breath. Harry himself stumbled away from the man, his eyes blown wide and breath erratic, hitting a sofa's edge and flailing as he landed on his rear, sitting on the stiff sofa.

"What are you doing boy? Trying to not only knock me unconscious but also trying to burn my face off I see?" Snape's tone was nothing less than contradictory, and Harry wanted to laugh nervously, but looking at the man now made everything crash down on him.

The bed he'd woken up in this morning.

The warm spot next to him.

The smell, of faint pine.

All Snape.

His mouth went dry and all at once he felt pale and red, like he'd lost his sense all at that moment. Snape had taken care of him? Was that what this was? No, it had to be something else, the man had an alternative motive, that had to be it. It was that or he was taking clear pity on him, something that Harry revolted more than anything, but it was easier to accept than thinking that Snape actually cared.

"W-where am I?" He hated himself for stuttering like a fool, and certainly, he must've looked like one too at the moment.

"That's your first question?" With a scowl and a sigh, Snape shook his head and turned away from him. "If you must know Potter, you are in the dungeons."

"Is this extra quarters then?" Harry asked, but he knew better already, he had seen all of the man's possessions, it would be foolish to try and convince himself otherwise.

"No, _Potter_ ," His name was said with such disdain, and quickly he was reminded of his anger from the day previous. "you are in my chambers, as I couldn't run the risk of taking you back to your own," Snape turned over his shoulder, and Harry locked eyes with those impossibly dark depth's. "Unless you would've preferred losing house points?" Snape's tone, it sounded, almost teasing really.

Harry flushed bright red and shook his head quickly, running a hand through his messy hair the second Snape looked away. It was early, so perhaps no one had noticed he was gone? It was Saturday after all. It was quiet in the large common room, even as Snape made himself busy. Harry just looked around, trying to ignore the clear awkwardness, and he took in every detail that he could find.

No matter the color, or what pattern the wallpaper held, this place was undeniably Slytherin.

Snape continued to ignore him, and he almost looked like he was avoiding looking at Harry. This made him tingle with unfounded anger, before, the man could glare at him all day without fault, and now he wouldn't even spare him a glance. Was he afraid to be told off again? Harry had done so just yesterday, yet he'd had more pleasant encounters with the man in the last twelve hours than in all his time at Hogwarts. So what was the problem?

"Are you," Was he actually going to say it? And as Snape turned to look at him, that annoyed look of ' _You're actually speaking right now?'_ spread on his features Harry decided that yes, _yes_ he would most definitely say it. "Are you afraid of me?" The man balked, and Harry had to keep his back straight. He wasn't a person who backed down easily, no, but Snape had always instilled in him that it would do him better to just _shut up_ , and do as he was told.

It had worked for maybe the past four years, but Harry knew that it would no longer be something to follow by. He'd opened his mouth once, he could do it again.

"Are you implying something, _Potter?_ "

"Are you dodging the question, _Sir?_ "

By the way the man turned away and the tenseness in his shoulders, Harry knew he'd hit the nail right on the head.

"No, boy," Snape lifted his mug and took a long sip. "I am not _dodging_ the question, I am simply ignoring such an atrocious accusation, made by none other than yourself." Harry had to hand it to him, Snape could work his way around verbally, without missing a beat. Too bad he wasn't the only one.

"Yes, almost as atrocious as implying that I lack manners." Harry reveled in the twitch that came from the man, and he waited for a comeback that actually didn't come.

"As I said before, it was uncalled for." Snape's tone sounded defeated and suddenly Harry felt guilty, he had told the man that it was okay and now here he was, implying that he was still holding onto it.

"And as I said before," Harry twisted around and met the man's eyes, however unwilling the older of the two was. "it's okay…" Good god he felt like the world's biggest arse, Snape clearly hadn't meant to say those cruel words, yet here he was, holding them over his head.

His eyes didn't leave Snape's for the longest of times, and when they did the man tried to slip into a normal conversation that for some reason took, and flourished with the morning sun.

"Do you like sugar in your coffee Potter?"

"I actually don't like coffee, but I do like hot chocolate, do you have that?"

"Of course you do," For what it was worth, he could've sworn he heard Snape chuckle. "I'll see what I can find."

Even when Harry left later that morning, he had a smile on his face, leaving from the dungeons, he could only think about the fact that Snape had helped him. That last night he could've woken Harry up, or turned him in, but he had given him a chance, and he had stepped up. Harry's heart soared at the thought, his feet clambering toward the great hall, unaware of the beady eyes drilling into his back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I loved writing this chapter, that's all I can say, also I hope ya'll are waiting for the next one! Love you guys sm!


	4. Scars Upon His Hand

To his great displeasure, he had found that despite his and Harry's unspoken agreement to stop being petty gits towards each other, the boy had taken to doing something worse, in Snape’s opinion.

Ignoring him.

Without a doubt, totally, utterly, in every possible way, ignoring him.

To say that he was a bit ruffled about it would be a lie.

Even in class, the boy barely made eye contact with him, like he was somehow afraid that doing so would cause him harm. For once, Snape had been so annoyed with the boy that he had assigned detention, almost in a form of revenge to the boy, for being so unbelievably intolerable. Harry was a relatively good student, even if he somehow, despite everything, every year, he managed to get himself and his friends into more trouble than was deemed possible.

He had to hand it to the boy on one level however when he set his mind to something he kept to it, that was for damn sure. Snape just wished that the damn boy would pick something that wasn’t so trying on his patience.

So when that evening fell, about an hour before dinner was to be served, Severus heard the almost hesitant knock at his office door. With a swimming head and a pounding headache that could put even the best of wizards in bed, he allowed entry.

A hand slipped past his door, and a foot came with. The Potions Master watched with innate interest as Harry stepped through, his eyes barely glancing at him, and then back towards the floor. With a scowl, he gestured the boy forward, and Potter walked slowly, almost painfully in Snape’s opinion, towards the chairs that were stationed before his desk.

It was silent for a moment, and for some godforsaken reason, Severus began to feel anxious, yes,  _ anxious _ . He grabbed for anything to keep his hands busy, trying to calm himself, not to get too caught up. Potter wasn’t here to do anything  _ obscene, _ he was here for  _ detention _ . Severus had to remind himself that while Potter may have the mind of a wizened man, through his many fortitudes it had been developed, he was still a boy, a teenage boy, and he had much to understand about the world, this would be one of those moments that he would have much to learn.

“Mr. Potter,” He called, and he was distracted momentarily by the calmness of his voice, the absolute blurry lines that had always made up his hard-edged voice. “Do you know why I called you here?”

_ Say something you inconceivable brat, _ he thought, baring his eyes into Harry’s skull. It had been quite some time since he’d heard the boy’s voice, and deny as he might, he wanted a sharp comeback. He wanted to see Harry’s eyes flash with determination and a witty remark on his tongue. He didn’t think Potter a brat by any means no, but his behavior had Severus thinking that perhaps the term was being used correctly.

Harry shook his head no, his alternative to speaking it seemed. This only made Severus more furious at the boy that sat before him. Was this fun to him, did he seek pleasure in making Snape angry? That must be it, for he could think of no other reason.

“I have been watching you,” He started off, and he could just barely see Harry’s eyes flick up to him, before returning to their previous position. He ignored how his wording sounded, favoring talking rather than thinking. “And something,”  _ oh so very clearly. _ “Has been disrupting your work in my class,” He watched as Harry’s shoulders tensed, he  _ didn’t _ take pleasure in doing this to the boy, it was just something that had to be done. “Would you care to tell me what that _ thing _ is?” He felt his chest squeeze as silence reined, god this boy would be the death of him no doubt. 

Why wasn’t the boy speaking for Merlin’s sake? Could he be cursed?

This time, to his great and utter surprise, Harry reached his hand up and skimmed his fingers over the back of Snape’s own cold hand. He felt the urge to recoil surge in his stomach, but he held still, wondering what could possibly drive Potter to this level of  _ idiotic insanity _ . He sucked in a deep breath as Potter’s fingers stayed right where they were.

He watched the boy’s hand, looking at his smaller hand, treading just over his own. With surprise flickering through his blood, Snape’s eyes zeroed in on the words carved deep into Potter’s skin.

_ I Shall Not Speak To My Teachers Outside of Class _

What in God’s name was that!?

With little patience and a very clear image of what had happened Snape snatched Harry’s hand into his own, looking at the words very clearly. A snarl bubbling within him, Snape turned his blazing gaze to the boy before him, who shrunk before his very eyes, trying in vain to pull his hand away. He only pulled the boy closer, hooking one hand under his chin and forcing him to look up at him, those green eyes looking like a wounded animal.

He decided he hated that look.

“What,” The boy gasped as he felt his breath on his face. “is,” Potter’s mouth fell open just the slightest, and he had to refrain from staring. “this?” The boy didn’t speak, but when he tried no sound came from him, the most Severus could make out was a pathetic little whimper, one his shoulders hardened at.

“Potter,” The boy looked away, and pulled harder, Severus saw him grit his teeth together in his effort. He would not allow the boy to pull away, he wanted answers. “Potter!” The boy pulled harder and he could see that the boy was making for the door the second he got released.

He wouldn’t allow for that.

“Harry!” He yelled, entirely fed up with the boy’s behavior, and totally oblivious to what he had just said. The boy faced toward him, eyes leaking tears and his face flushed, sniffing and still trying to pull away weakly. By no means did the boy look attractive in that moment, at all, but for what Severus could manage within himself, the boy looked so  _ real  _ in that moment.

A long drawn out sob drifted from the boy in his arms, even as Severus reversed the curse brought upon him, all he did was cry. He stood there, and silently let his tears hit the floor beneath him. Severus did nothing to stop him, he just allowed him to stand there and cry until he could no more.

When Harry finally stopped, Severus felt as if he’d been lashed a thousand times. Hearing the boy cry, each sob breaking his breath, hurt more than it should have truly.

“You can speak now, yes?” He turned his head away, waiting for the boy to clean himself, or at least give him a case of privacy to do so.

Harry still refused to speak.

He just nodded.

“Tell me what happened.” It was a demand this time, no longer a friendly suggestion. He wanted answers, he wanted to know what happened, he wanted revenge for the boy.

“I…” Harry slipped a hand to his mouth as if speaking would grant him trouble. “It was nothing, thank you, for...for fixing me…” His tone, god it sounded so lifeless, so absolutely without a drive.

“There was nothing wrong with you, to begin with,” Snape answered curtly, releasing the boy’s chin, but not releasing his hand. “Give me a real answer Potter, before I drag it out of your mind.” By the boy’s expression, he knew that Snape would do it too, yes he would if he had to. He wouldn’t enjoy rifling through the boy’s memories, but if that was what it took.

“Malfoy and Umbridge.” Those words and he knew, he knew that it was his fault. All his fault that the boy before him had fallen to pitiful tears and succumbing to the pain. He didn’t need the boy to tell him more. He could tell that Lucius’s offspring had been the cause of it, and had most likely told Umbridge about Potter leaving his rooms. He was a fool, he should have just sent him through the floo powder, having him see the headmaster would’ve been better than what he had been put through.

“They…” He not-so-gently placed a hand over Potter’s mouth, and he watched as the boy’s still glistening eyes looked up at him, their hands still clasped. Severus would’ve cut all intimacy out of this situation if it hadn’t been for the fact that he was actually getting somewhere with the boy.

There was still guilt in him, he could feel it manifesting in his stomach, small as it was, he felt it blurring with everything else that was just absolutely disgusting in his life. With his best friend’s death, with the knowledge that he had been the one to encourage her death unknowingly, and now he’d allowed her child to be hurt, very well knowing of the consequences.

“No,” He closed his eyes, let the guilt settle in his stomach, breathed in, and opened his eyes again. He met Harry’s green eyes, and just for a moment, he allowed himself to become lost, and look at a future that wouldn’t exist. 

“I did this.” Harry’s eyes widened at his words, but the boy made no move to remove his mouth from Severus’s grip. “I should’ve just apparated to your dormitory,” He sighed out and closed his eyes, feeling the stress line develop in between his brows. “it was foolish of me to-”

He felt something soft on his palm, slightly moist and gentle, faint, but feeling as if it were burning a hole in Severus’s palm. His breath caught and he stopped, feeling every muscle tense in preparation for something that he truly wasn’t expecting.

Those small hands, yet once again reached up for him, and they held his limp hand in their own, unbelievably, warm ones. Potter looked up at him through his long lashes, and with the moonlight he could see Potter’s face ignite in a flustered flush, smiling up at him like nothing more than a teenage boy seeking comfort.

“Thank you…” Potter held his hands close, brought them to his chest, allowing Severus to feel the intense beating that came from there. “Thank you…”

The only thing that ran through his head as he pulled the boy closer, was his wondering.

Could Potter hear how fast his heart was beating as well?

The next morning Severus woke with a pounding headache, which seemed to be a reoccurring instance, one that he was tiring of greatly. He sat up slowly and looked around, quickly recalling that he hadn’t fallen asleep in his bed. He’d taken the couch, despite Harry’s immediate protest. The last time he’d fallen asleep with the boy in the bed he did recall he’d actually gotten sleep, but that was a very selfish thought, and action to take, just to get to sleep next to the boy for god’s sake. He didn’t like the way that boy made him do things, he was losing his edge and he didn’t like it. 

From where the sun was he’d have to say that it was about 7:00 ish in the morning, he should have enough time to get ready for the day. It was Wednesday, which meant that he had Harry for class today. He had honestly hoped that the boy would be able to speak today without running or losing his nerve, as Severus had feared that he might.

He stood, and made for his bedroom, only to feel a tap on his shoulder. He turned hands at the ready, and stopped short as he noticed that it was Potter who stood there, a mug in his small hands. It smelled just about as good as Severus expected heaven to smell, right now. Coffee, good lord he’d let the boy stay in his room as often as he wanted as long as he made him coffee every morning.

“Why are you up?” He asked instead of telling the boy of his wildly idiotic thoughts.

Harry gave a small laugh that had Severus quirking his mouth in appreciation. Having a nice morning for once didn’t sound so terribly awful. He could already tell that the sun would be shining today.

“Because I knew that you’d want me out of your room as soon as possible,” Harry said as he shoved the cup into Severus’s hands, the boy turned on his heel and made back for the kitchen, and he picked up a mug there and took a sip.

“Hot chocolate this morning Potter?” He smirked and watched as the boy turned positively red in his kitchen, for a moment it looked so delectably domestic that it made Severus’s head throb. The boy set down his mug and picked up a used tea packet.

“It’s called Black, but I’ve never had it, I’ve only ever had green tea.” Severus wanted to laugh at the poor boy, he’d only had one type of tea his whole life? God Potter had so much to learn. “It’s actually pretty good, but it’s really bitter.” Potter made a face and Severus chuckled into his coffee, watching the boy like this like he belonged here, it didn’t bother him nearly as much as he thought it would.

Or as much as it should have.

“How long did you brew it, Potter?” The boy stopped and thought for a moment, before turning back to him, newly flushed once again.

“Um, too long?” Why was this so easy? It had never been easy before, it had always just so forced, yet now it just felt like he was slipping into it, without question or reason.

“Yes, definitely too long.”

“What are you now, the tea master?”

“It doesn’t take a master to make a good cup of tea Potter, it just takes an idiot to screw it up.”

“Are you calling me stupid?”

“Are you telling me you don’t know how to make proper tea?”

“Touche…”

“That’s what I thought, now, go get ready for school, before I get fired for housing a student out-of-hours.”

Harry took the fireplace this time, ending up in the Gryffindor common room instead of taking the door.

Yes, it really was too easy now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oooo wee, looks like there's a pandemic, terribly sad really. I won't dilly dally, however, thank you for reading this chapter, sorry it took so long to get it out, I have to do all my work online now, so it makes it very hard to find free time. I do hope you can understand, also tell me what you think about their slow development!


	5. His Spoiled Wizard Prince

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is being written with a much different intention involved, there will be ‘mentioned mature themes’ not that bad of anything, I promise, this is just us delving into something deeper, and if I didn’t mention it before, Harry was definitely abused in the past-by Vernon and Petunia-and he has mild panic-disorder from such a thing-you’re going to see it in this chapter, I’m so sorry for not mentioning that before, but just posting this little note so that everyone knows.

It had been during a Quidditch match, Slytherin against Gryfindor, and as the head of house for one of those teams, it was required for him to attend. Not that he would miss the chance to see Gryffindor eat dirt, his team was rapidly improving and since this was one of the last matches of the year it was important to see who would take the cup finally.

He had been watching and actually on the edge of his seat for part of it, it was nearing the end of the game and both teams were tied. It was exhilarating to watch his team try as they might, and Gryffindor fight back with just as much ferocity. Neither team had the intention of giving up that was for sure.

He hadn’t even meant to be watching Potter but the boy just had this aura about him during this game, where he looked wholly committed and like everyone else wasn’t there. He watched everything about the boy, how he whooped when they scored, or how he would scowl when a Slytherin bumped him purposefully. He even admired the sweat that poured from the boy’s brow, Potter was clearly enjoying himself despite all the stress that came with playing such an exhilarating game.

Now, one of Harry’s teammates had thrown the ball his way, but by the time he was there, it was too late. He watched almost in slow motion as Draco Malfoy flipped toward Potter with dangerous speed, and just as the boy caught the ball Draco turned his broom and knocked Harry from his own, grabbing the ball and making a run for it. Screams erupted around him but all Severus did was run for the edge. He hated the way his gut twisted in worry or the way he shot to his feet, or the absolute atrociousness that came with the Slytherin Headmaster catching a Gryfindor mid-air and holding his hand to prevent injury to the boy.

Snape gritted his teeth as he held onto Potter’s hand, the boy had been damn lucky that he was near the stands or he would be as good as dead! Barely making it out alive by the skin of his teeth as per usual! 

Potter stared up at him, breathless, his eyes glassy. With a scowl of agitation forming on his face, Severus hefted Potter to where he could grab his arm, Harry-clearly a tad frightened-grabbed onto him as well, and tried to assist Snape as he pulled him up.

Harry shot from the edge, crashing into Snape’s arms, and Severus froze. Practically everyone was watching! What was the boy thinking!? He felt Potter’s hands fist in his cloaks, and he resisted the urge to hold the boy close, he had to keep his head clear. Snape flicked his eyes to Draco, and yes, the boy was watching, he needed to push Potter away, no matter how he wanted to stay right here, he still needed to  _ hate _ the boy.

No matter how much the opposite the situation was.

“Contain yourself, Potter,” He muttered, and detached the boy’s arms from around himself, holding his wrists firmly, yet not to be hurtful. The boy wasn’t crying, thankfully, he knew that such an event had happened to anyone else on Potter’s team then the case wouldn’t be the same. However, Potter did look a bit shaken up, if the trembling was anything to go by.

The boy didn’t speak, and that was something that was seriously beginning to annoy Severus, the boy had little to no bite anymore, and that was because everyone kept telling him to keep his mouth shut. Severus wanted the cocky little wizard who overflowed with power, the one who would do anything to beat the evil, the darkness. He wanted the wizard prince back.

“Get back out there,” He said, and he was still scowling even as he said so, let his words reflect his meaning, rather than his actions. “spoiled wizard prince,” Harry’s eyes widened as he watched Snape’s mouth move. “ make them eat the dirt, show them what happens,” Potter looked up at him, and in his eyes there stirred many different embers, ones of hunger, and something deeper, something that he had yet to acquire. 

“Show them what happens when you mess with the  _ spoiled _ wizard prince.”

He had been  _ deeply _ grateful to whatever deity was above that no one had heard his words.

Imagine if Minerva had heard him, he’d never hear the end of it.

* * *

Gryffindor won, but really that was the least of his worries, for now, he had been thinking back on Snape’s words all day, and they made him flush like a mad man. His face felt so hot as he recalled how Snape had said it,-

_ “Show them what happens when you mess with the  _ **_spoiled_ ** _ wizard prince.” _

God, the man’s breath had felt so hot, and his voice made Harry weak in the knees. He couldn’t believe he had made it back out onto the field after that! His eyes, oh god his eyes, they had been that same darkness, the one with the flames that threatened to consume him, so dark, so rich, so terribly inviting. It made his heart beat out of control, in attempt to control himself from getting out of hand he rolled his shoulder again, he believed he’d pinched a nerve when he’d twisted off his broom.

It hurt like hell too, it felt numb, but he was in pain from it, ridiculous. He tried scratching it, hopefully, to regain some semblance of feeling there, but to no avail, he hadn’t been able to feel anything but pain.

This whole ordeal was ridiculous. Just atrocious that he had to be feeling this pain, and all thanks to Malfoy too, the slimy git might as well have had flames in his eyes, the way he´d been glaring at Harry after the match told him to expect something more from the Death Eater Spawn. Harry didn’t exactly like the idea of facing Malfoyś wrath, especially when he felt the way he did, but he wasn’t afraid, he could take whatever the boy planned to dish out without hesitation.

He wasn’t scared of Malfoy, he was scared that he would do something he would come to regret later, but he wasn't scared of Malfoy. Instead of thinking about the arrogant bastard who liked to make his life hell, Harry instead focused back on his Potionś Master´s words, how they had been said, with that tone, and the breathlessness that came with it.

He called him a  _ Prince _ . 

A privileged, talented, spoiled Wizard Prince.

Not so much in those words, but nonetheless a _Prince_.

He smiled to himself and thought to when he grasped so desperately to the man, how embarrassing that had been. He was sure that Hermoine would question him about his actions soon enough, he already knew why he´d grasped so fervently to the man. One he had saved him from worse injury and having to go to St. Mungo´s, two had been because of the look in Severus´s eyes. He looked pissed as all hell, and Harry still found himself enraptured by the flames in those eyes. They looked scorching and he found himself shivering as he stared up, even though his Professor hadn´t seemed to be paying attention. Sighing Harry made his way to wash up, perhaps a bath would ease his sore muscles, he sure hoped so.

Upon entering, he stripped himself quickly setting his clothes into a relatively neat pile, and practically moaned at the feeling of the hot water washing over him. He set his glasses aside, closing his eyes, he leaned back and let out a sigh of relief. It had been a while since he’d just enjoyed himself. He sunk lower until he hit water and held his breath, sinking below the surface for who knows how long.

He pushed his head past the surface sucking in a breath, just as he heard. “Just grab it!” and then suddenly the bathroom door slammed shut. His eyes snapped over to see what was happening, only to find that all his clothes were gone. The once neat pile only left him with his undergarments which seemed to have been lost in the process. He felt his face flame in anger, damn he knew this would happen! Of course, Malfoy had to sink this low! Direct fighting was one thing, but public humiliation was another!

Growling he ditched the idea of a pleasant bath altogether and reached for his glasses, when his finger touched something however he reeled back with a hiss, and could faintly see the red that now dripped from his finger. Not his glasses too! No, that would make this whole ordeal all the more embarrassing! He really needed a way out of this, he didn’t have the energy for Malfoy’s childish games right now.

With blurry vision and agitation coursing through his veins Harry hauled himself out of the bath and made his way to the blob that was his boxers. He slipped them on, but didn’t attempt to gather his glasses, lest he cut himself again. He made for the door, and with a sigh of utter resentment, he opened it, sticking his head out. Maybe if someone were to walk by they could help him and-

“What in God’s name are you doing Potter?” 

_ It’s always gonna be him, isn’t it? _

Sure enough(like you didn’t expect this) the blurry shape of Snape came into view, and while Harry couldn’t exactly make out his expression he knew that the man must look flabbergasted. It’s not every day one of your students tries to commit public nudity after all. With a sheepish smile, and his anger subsiding for the moment Harry scratched the back of his head and gave a small chuckle.

“Uh, I’ve been robbed?” This attitude of his, the one that only seemed present with this man, it was beginning to drive him wild, acting this way, as if  _ flirting _ with the man would get him anywhere, he hadn’t any idea what he was thinking.

Snape made a noncommittal noise and shoved him further into the room, slamming the door, he began to disrobe. Even with his impaired vision Harry could see such a thing, and his face burned with the knowledge that here in front of him his Professor was  _ undressing _ , he had no faith that what he’d been thinking about for the past couple of weeks would become a reality, but perhaps his thoughts were to not go unnoticed by a higher being.

“W-” Cursing himself for starting in a stutter, Harry tried again. “What are you doing?” Even to him, it sounded breathless, needy and just wanting. He felt his stomach churn at the very idea of sounding that was in front of this man, and he stepped further into the wall behind him, watching as Severus stopped. Now he was only clad in a dark shirt, Harry could see his forearms-well the outline of them- and in his hands were his thick robes.

Snape didn’t answer and that made Harry feel uneasy, but it was a feeling that stumbled through many more, as he watched Severus move closer. The man, almost hesitantly, brought his hand up, Harry flinched, but quickly reminded himself that Severus wasn’t them, and that he had nothing to be afraid of, he was not quite touching, but looking as if he may be watching, waiting, to see that Harry wouldn’t crack if he placed his hands on him.

_ God _ , Harry thought, as Severus’s fingers hovered above his cheek, impatience pooled in his belly.  _ Just touch me already, please. _

His own state of undress wasn’t making this any easier, and he bit his lip, trying to keep his words in, he felt his lip throb in pain under his hard ministrations. If he could see any better he would’ve known that Severus’s eyes had followed every movement of his mouth, eyes never detaching. In Severus’s trance, his fingertips brushed along Harry’s temple softly, causing the young man to gasp, releasing his lip and Severus from his trance.

“Where are your glasses Potter?” He didn’t want to be called  _ Potter _ , he wanted his name to come from that mouth, brat, git,  _ Prince _ , anything but  _ Potter _ .

“O-over by the pool, they’re broken.” He gulped as Snape shoved the robes into his hands and looked over toward the pool, walking slowly toward it.

“Yes, I deduced such a thing from your lack of eyewear.” Snape quipped back, and Harry flushed again, this was the only man who could make him feel hot and bothered for more than one reason.

Harry didn’t reply back but his ears practically twitched when Snape used _Oculus_ _Reparo_ to fix his glasses, and he was suddenly grateful he’d left his wand with Hermione before the match, at least that hadn’t been stolen by Malfoy and his goons.

“Well,” Severus said as he turned back to face the younger boy. “Are you going to get dressed, or is this what you do for a hobby Potter?” 

Huffing Harry took the much larger robes and began to dress, finally understanding that the reason for Snape undressing was so that he could be clothed, and he felt guilty, but also a bit miffed.

“Are you implying that I like to strip-tease professor?”

_ We’re not much of a tease when over seventy-five percent of our clothing is gone,  _ He thought to himself internally.

“No Potter,” Severus smirked and Harry’s stomach did somersaults. “I am simply implying that perhaps you like to show your professors a little too much skin?” He handed Harry his glasses as the boy finished dressing. He felt so very small in Severus’s robes, yet he reveled in the fact that the man had been so willing to give up his clothes for him.

“Only one it seems.” He himself smirked as he watched Snape backtrack and stop for a moment, trying and failing to come up with a comeback.

“Come on Snape, we’ll be late for dinner.” He quirred and pushed open the door.

“We’re already late for dinner, and that is  _ Professor _ Snape or  _ Sir _ to you, Potter.” Snape shot back quickly, emphasizing his words.

“Yes, Sir…” There was the attitude again, purring out that last word like he would gain something from it, but  _ god _ did it feel good to see the man flinch as he did it.

As they neared the hall, Harry felt something stir in him, and it halted him. Surely Malfoy would’ve informed most of his house by now of what he’d done, he always liked to gloat. And that meant that most of everyone knew that his clothes had been taken from him, he had been shamed before, for various reasons, but this felt different. It felt like when Vernon would tell him how awful he was until he would cry, or when Petunia would slap him around until he was choking on his sobs. His chest hurt and breathing seemed like an altogether foreign subject.

“You can do this,” He heard from his right and saw that while Snape wasn’t looking at him, he was still  _ there _ , that meant  _ something _ . “don’t forget who you are.” Snape met his eyes, and Harry felt his chest constrict for a much different reason this time. 

Those flames would soon consume him alive if he wasn’t careful.

“Spoiled  _ Prince… _ ”

Snape carried away and Harry felt his resolve grow. _ I’m your spoiled prince, _ Harry thought, and he admired Severus’s strong back as he walked away. _ If you’ll have me, my half-blood prince. _


	6. Sinful

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Minor smut-ish stuff, no smut yet sorry!

_God_ , he thought, and he stared at his food in disinterest, it didn’t look quite as appealing as the student he’d just been staring holes through. He must’ve lost his mind, giving the boy his clothes, ugh, he detested how many stares he earned at dinner _alone_ . Too many and he was running out of _‘piss-yourself looks’_ it was draining being so disdainful all the time.

Potter- No, Harry, he reminded himself, seemed to be having a similar problem. His friends seemed to have grilled him about it already, so they were silent, but that didn’t mean that the rest of the students didn’t see anything. He trailed his eyes up from his food once more, having sensed eyes on him yet once again, and was met with the blank stare of Draco Malfoy. The boy didn’t even move his eyes away when he glared, he just continued to look, and panic that he never knew he could feel again coursed through him when Draco’s eyes, slowly, _deliberately_ , trailed back to Harry, sitting in Severus’s too large robes.

 _Oh, fuck he definitely knows._ No, this was not how this was supposed to go, Draco would tell Lucious, and that was something that Severus could _not_ let happen, if Lucious knew, then so would he-who-shall-not-be-named. Such a silly title, but nonetheless, Severus needed every ounce of luck he could get. 

He needed to calm down really, but for now, he perceived it best to leave.

He stood abruptly, perhaps a bit too fast-and loud- but he couldn’t stop now, so he made his way to the exit door for Professors’. He was all too aware of the eyes on his back, and the absolutely _infuriating_ smile on the Headmaster’s face. He wanted to groan but decided to save it for later when he was too blacked-out to regret it.

He wanted to look back as the door shut, and he told himself, no, _no_ you can’t look back, think of your case, but that didn’t stop him. He turned, and through that little crack his eyes found those green ones, and all Severus knew at that moment was that he liked Harry’s eyes a lot better without glasses in front of them.

He thought about the boy all the way back to his chamber’s, and even as he poured himself a straight scotch he thought about the sinful curl of those lips and the words that he spilled from them, that _blasphemous_ boy, he just had to go and ruin everything. Couldn’t he just have kept his mouth shut that day? Not said anything and just gone through with detention like any normal student?

But no, he just couldn’t be normal.

Because he was _Harry_.

_“You think I’m like him don’t you?”_

_"I actually don't like coffee, but I do like hot chocolate, do you have that?"_

_“What are you now, the tea master?”_

_“Are you implying that I like to strip-tease professor?”_

_“Come on Snape, we’ll be late for dinner.”_

_“Yes, Sir…”_

Yes, Harry truly was one in a million.

He grumbled and made for his kitchen, he hadn’t the time to clean anything up, so there were still a few scattered dishes here and there, but one caught his eye. A small black mug, and as Severus lifted it to his nose, he smelled the faint scent of black tea, too overboiled and bitter. He could practically see that morning in his mind, set it on replay. Watch and remember how Harry had made him a pot of coffee and had tea for himself, sticking his tongue out with the undesirable taste that followed.

It had been so easy then, so very easy, and now he didn’t know what to think as he set the empty mug in the sink. He slumped against the counter and crossed his arms, feeling the lack of robes there he scowled and reached to rub his neck.

_Get him out of your head._

He reached for his glass of scotch, hoping that the alcohol would somehow wipe the young man from his mind. Having these thoughts...it was so dangerously inappropriate, yet it was becoming sinfully hard to keep them as just thoughts. How attainable would it be? Harry had spent a considerable amount of time in his rooms, invading them with his scent. He could’ve done it any one of those times, yet it had never felt right, plus there was the fact that he didn’t know how Harry felt about the situation at all.

His hand tingled with the remembrance of Harry’s lips upon them, and how soft they had felt. How he had managed to pull the boy closer before doing something _savagely_ stupid. 

_Get him out of your head Severus._

He could almost feel it now, Potter’s hand in his own, the man’s much smaller one slipping into his own, his smaller thumb stroking over Severus’s calloused knuckles. 

_God_ , it felt so _real_.

But it wasn’t.

So he squeezed his hand, fully expecting his fist to clench, but instead, he was rewarded with a sharp squeak of pain, and he jumped back, away from the sound, breaking his scotch glass as he did so, reaching for his wand.

Only to remember that Potter still had his robes, and thus had his wand.

“Ow! You didn’t have to squeeze so hard!” He heard, but he saw no one. He blinked and stared at the now shattered glass on the ground, what exactly had he been drinking? Just scotch, right? Had he been drugged perhaps? No, that was preposterous, and he glared hard forward, hoping that it was aimed at the invisible voice.

“Gosh, what’s gotten into you? Are you okay?” He knew that drawl, the one that screamed teenage boy, and sounded concerned, seductive, and all things that he really shouldn’t be associating with Harry Potter.

“Potter?” He watched slowly as dark brown hair was revealed, followed by glasses and Harry still clad in his robes. He inhaled, he hadn’t even heard the boy enter, how out of it had he been? Potter, he…

God, he looked so gorgeous right now.

Standing next to Severus’s counters, the cloak hanging around his slim shoulders, the firelight illuminating him sunset orange, the shimmer glinting on his glasses. He just looked perfect standing there. It took a startling amount of control to remain where he was, still in a defensive position against the counter behind him, and he straightened, digging his hands into said counter.

He needed to remain grounded.

“What are you doing here?” He asked, the silence was deafening, besides the crackle of the fire, and Potter looked toward the fire, allowing the invisibility cloak that he possessed to drop to the floor. Severus watched this with bated breath, for what could the boy possibly be doing? Harry slowly carried his hand back up his arms-still in Severus’s robes- touching his bare neck softly.

“I came,” Harry looked at him then, and the slow, simmering, desire there in those green eyes had him losing his breath. “to return your clothes, _sir…_ ” He was shaking now, this wasn’t happening. There was no way that this was actually happening. He kept repeating this to himself as he watched Potter slip his hand beneath his robes, bringing a slim shoulder into view. Tan, smooth, and positively mouthwatering.

Harry walked closer and Severus gripped the counter behind him with fervor. Internally he wanted the boy to come closer, to press tightly against him, but he was sure that on the outside he looked like he wanted to bolt.

“Is that alright, _professor_?” The way Harry addressed him should’ve been enough, that should’ve made him realize that what was happening was wrong.

It did nothing more than increase his lust for the damn boy, and his clever mind.

So, slowly, he nodded, and the shining in Harry’s eyes told him that he’d answered correctly. And Harry walked closer, slipping the large robes slowly from his figure, Severus traced Potter’s delectable collar bones with his eyes, swallowing thickly. He followed the boy’s movements with his eyes, and he was unpleasantly surprised to find that Potter was now wearing pants. None-the-less, it made this experience no less exhilarating. So, Severus continued to watch.

“You’ll have to forgive me,” Harry said, and Severus snapped his eyes to the young man’s face, which was downcast as Harry stepped out of his robes completely. Harry pressed the fabric in front of him, and then leaned forward, touching their chests together. 

“They probably smell like _teenage_ _boy_ now.” Harry chanced a glance up to him through long sinful lashes, pouting his lips ever so slightly, his eyes like emeralds flashing at him. 

And Severus lost it.

He grabbed the boy by one arm, dragging him up, the other sifting through his hair, and his lips molding with Harry’s. 

It felt like liquid fire, so fucking _hot_ , so unbearably hot. It felt like he could scream with the madness of how good it felt. How soft and passionate this moment was. Harry’s desire to take it further was immediate, for he yanked his arms from Severus-he was afraid the boy would pull back for a moment- but then he wrapped his arms around Severus’s head, and pulled him closer. Pressing them together as if he was _afraid_ this wasn’t real.

He couldn’t blame the boy.

Severus backtracked to the left, towards his sofa, grabbing at the boy. Harry complied immediately, throwing his legs around Severus and missing the large glass pile, Severus was enraptured by the heat that came with all of this, with the urgency that was coming from both of them, by how eager Harry was, how insistent and energetic he was.

It was different than being with someone of his age, even men at his age were slower, still wanting the thrill but not quite as inclined to chase after it like the boy who was straddling him now. Severus barely made them to the circle of furniture he owned before they were tumbling to the floor, hands groping and mouth’s roving. In front of the fire now, Severus licked along Harry’s bottom lip, the boy hitched on his breathing for a moment and he took the obvious opportunity to shove his tongue into the young man’s mouth.

Sloppy, fervent, and needy, that was what this encounter would be in the morning. Severus couldn’t bring himself to care as he flipped them, Harry, now beneath him, and his mouth moving along the young man’s jaw, peppering kisses there, and moving to his neck and further down, sucking, nipping, biting, claiming, everything he could get his mouth on.

“Ah,” Harry moaned and Severus felt his body flush with a new need. “Severus...oh…” Harry moaned loudly as Severus’s mouth found his nipple, and the man bit down, causing Harry to squeak, looking at him like he was crazy.

It felt like a fire between them as their eyes clashed.

“That’s _sir_ to you,” He looked up, and the flushed form of Harry Potter lying beneath him, well it looked almost too good to be true. “ _Harry_...” 

He gave another nip at the sensitive bud, eliciting a shiver from the sinful mouth of Harry Potter. The boy laid back down, droplets of sweat beginning to form on his body.

“Oh god,” Harry moaned again as Severus groped his ass, his back arching, his arousal prominent. “ _yes sir…_ ” 

_How terribly sinful…_

Harry moaned again at Severus’s ministrations, making Severus twitch.

_My spoiled Wizard Prince, just keep moaning, that’s the only sound I need..._

Harry dragged him up, eyes glassy and mouth looking just so damn kissable.

_I’m starting to think you’re all I need._

Harry raked his fingers through Severus’s tresses, and he felt a groan pull at his throat as they clashed their mouths together.

_And that isn’t an entirely undesirable thought._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So there you have it, they have finally taken that unforgotten step, and I plan for much worse in the future. Not much for context in this chapter, but I'll make up for that next time, and no, no smut in the next chapter, but within the next couple I'm thinking of putting one in-you'll have to remember this is slow burn, I'm supposed to make you suffer.
> 
> Love you guys! I hope you're all doing okay!


	7. Acceptance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oooooo tons of Snarry fluff, because I am so late with this chapter and I've been lonely in quarantine, *insert crying face* anywhoooo I am seriously so sorry for the delay! What with school dragging on me I can rarely find an open moment! It's exhausting! This is a longer chapter too and I tried to get you guys to see how Snape is feeling, basically, he's still not sure if he wants to drag Harry into something like that with him but Harry is totally ready. He still feels regret over his actions, but I won't let that last for long.
> 
> Okay my fingers hurt now, enjoy! Please comment your thoughts!

When Severus awoke the next morning, he allowed himself to flush for three reasons.

One: For what had happened last night, with roving hands and heated kisses, and the desire that still flooded his veins as he thought about it.

Two: With shame to admit to himself that yes, he had done such a dangerous activity.

Three: Because the object of such shame and desire still laid next to him-with his pants still on thankfully-still sleeping with a sound smile on his face.

He watched from his spot for a while. Sitting against the headboard, with one of his hands still intertwined with Harry’s. He couldn’t deny that the night before, he had been wanting what had happened. For far longer than what was appropriate, yet he had...done it. As magnificent as the evening was, he still felt something, something that churned at him.

Regret. He felt regret. Deep-rooted regret. Because no matter how much he wanted this, it was wrong, so very wrong, and he cringed with the thought of what could happen to him. Not just to him either, what about Harry? The boy could go off and tell people about this-he knew the boy wouldn’t-but what would this encounter do for him? Where would it put him when he woke up? What would he do when he figured out the consequences of their actions? Too many questions and too little answers.

Heaving a sigh, Severus averted his gaze to the window, focusing on every little detail out there so he could ignore the ones in here. It was hard to not turn back and look, because he knew that Harry wasn’t wearing a shirt, and he knew that if he looked back he would surely find the boy’s malnourished frame. He was being too damn considerate for his own good, he used to not give a damn about Harry, because the boy had proven that he didn’t need anyone worrying about him, that he could take care of himself perfectly well.

It was odd to feel this way, because it wasn’t necessary at all, in any way, but he wanted it, somewhere in him he wanted to do this for Harry so very much. Preposterous, he didn’t even know what level to start at, or where to take it from here.

All he knew, was that in short, he wanted to take care of Potter.

Very much like how Lily did for him.

He would call it payback-in a lighter sense of the word-for all the right’s Lily had bestowed upon him in his life, little as they were. He had broken that bond long ago, but…

He watched Harry stretch against his sheets, the sun shining on his skin, and a smile curling at his mouth as he squeezed Severus’s hand. 

But, would it hurt to try, in some small way, to try and rekindle that shattered bond? As he watched Harry for most of the morning he decided that he would think about such feelings later, and for now he would enjoy his morning in bed, with something to warm the space next to him for once.

* * *

The first thing Harry tasted was the lingering of alcohol on his lips, and before he’d even opened his eyes he remembered vividly what had happened the night before. He let it play on a loop in his head and turned away from the sunlight, trying in vain to hide his utter embarrassment. He could feel the hand in his own still, and he knew that he’d have to be quiet to not wake Severus. A fire was lit in his chest, smoldering as the sun rose further into the sky.

God, he really had done that last night hadn’t he?

He could feel the lingering bruises on his neck, and the soreness that came from where Severus had held his hips still. 

So yes, he’d had a very hot makeout/but not sex session with his Professor last night.

_ I regret nothing… _

And he didn’t, he could feel that they both wanted it, and with the passion between them it was obvious to see that his assumption was correct. He knew that Severus wouldn’t feel the same way, he knew that when he opened his eyes, he would find Severus-whether he was awake or not-but he would have to face the fact that his Professor didn’t exactly  _ want _ what he did.

Thinking short term-Harry wanted to have Severus.

Thinking long term-Harry wanted to be with Severus.

And whatever it entailed.

No matter how far fetched that sounded.

He had always known that he wasn’t exactly super interested in women, perhaps that had something to do with Petunia, he wouldn’t really question why he felt this way, it would just make him feel more complicated. But he knew that he didn’t exactly like them in that way, he had never made a move on anyone except for the night before-sure he’d kissed girls before, but that hadn’t exactly elicited a proper response from him like it should have-like if it had been Ron, then the boy would’ve turned bright red from his toes to his ears. Harry simply just waited it out, it only took him about a month to realize that was how he worded it.

_ ‘Waiting it out’. _

Because he didn’t really want it to happen to begin with.

“Harry,” A voice grumbled and he felt himself flush suddenly, his body tensing. Severus was awake!? Damn! He was too far into his head to notice anything! His breathing stopped and if that wasn’t a clear sign that he was awake then he didn’t know what was.

He felt the man shift next to him, and he gripped the sheets beneath his hands in panic, what was he supposed to do now?! He felt cornered oddly enough, even though he didn’t think he had anything to worry about, Severus was still a pretty blank book to him and it was hard to read if there were no words!

“I know that you are awake, now look at me.” He released his withheld breath and felt his shoulders relax, there really was no point in pretending when the man was far too smart for his own good.

He shifted onto his back, and blurrily he looked up at Severus, he could make out the shape but little to no details, he sat up and looked to his right instead, away from Severus. He groped blindly at the bedside table finding his glasses and slipping them onto his face. He took just a moment to calm himself before he met the softer and slightly disheveled appearance of Severus Snape.

Just looking at him, laying against the headboard, Harry’s hand in his own still, he looked so…

...hot, he looked fucking hot, he almost had to drag his eyes away.

He swallowed thickly, and with a blush overtaking his cheeks he managed-

“Good morning?”

-to sound like a total idiot.

It took a moment, but Severus finally looked him in the eye, and with just the faintest twitch upwards of his lips, he smiled. 

“Good morning Harry.”

He had to wonder if perhaps you could get drunk from kissing someone, because he swore, this must be a hallucination, and that somehow the alcohol that remained on his lips must be in his system.

He felt his entire body flush with the heat of such a soft stare, and he involuntarily squeezed his hand around Severus’s. He only took a second to realize what he did and he retracted his hand immediately, cursing himself, he totally could’ve left his hand where it was! Damn! He sat up straight and cleared his throat, feeling the wooziness of his head, he should take it slow, he felt dramatically overheated.

“Um,” In his head, he felt like he should wait to ask Severus these questions, but then it occurred to him, there would never be a great time to ask anyone these questions, so he just went for it. “About-” He cleared his throat again, “about last night, I-” Merlin this was hard to say! “I’m…”

“I know you’re not sorry Harry,” He twitched and felt his mouth run dry-he was literally just about to apologize! But...then again, the man was right, he wasn’t sorry.

“You have no reason to be either,”  _ That _ he wasn’t expecting. “It was a mutual feeling last night, and consensual, so you have nothing to worry about.” Severus took a deep breath and Harry knew there would be a ‘but’ to follow.

“However,” _ Damn! I was wrong!  _ “I can not say the same,” He didn’t think he’d ever heard Severus speak this softly to anyone before, and he was trying to imprint it in his head before it went away.

He already knew what Severus was going to say, and he shot his eyes elsewhere. “You’re a teacher…” He muttered disheartenedly, it was hard to think that everything that had happened last night would have to be forgotten, as if the feeling’s in those kisses and caresses weren’t real. It hurt to think about to say the least.

“Yes, I am.” The response was exactly what he was expecting, but that didn’t mean that it didn’t hurt any less.

He closed his eyes and sighed out, he should probably leave, by floo would be best, he felt his dry eyes become wet and he clenched his teeth, he would not cry, he wasn’t a child, he would be a legal adult soon, and adults didn’t cry. He’d already made a fool out of himself in front of Severus once, he wouldn’t do it again.

“As you know, relationships between teacher and student are strictly prohibited.” Everyone knew that, where was Severus going with this? “Meaning, that if anyone were to find out about such an occurrence, it would mean expulsion for both parties,” Yes he knew that too, it was common knowledge.

“Unless of course,” Harry turned his eyes back to the man, feeling disrespectful. “They keep it a secret.”

“I’m not going to tell anyone Professor, you can even make sure I can’t if you want.” He waved his hand haphazardly to gesture to the scars there already. He felt the man next to him stiffen but he made no comment.

“Hmm, you don’t seem to understand still,” Severus shifted out of bed and Harry got a very good eye-full of torso before a button up was grabbed and put on-he refused to groan in disappointment.

“What I am saying Harry,” He met coal black eyes, and he could’ve sworn that they were blazing, for he temporarily lost his breath, and Severus smirked at him. “Is that until you are a legal adult,”

His heart stopped in his chest with that man’s next words.

“We’ll just have to pretend that we hate each other still."

The opposite of hate is love right?

Yes, yes it is.

He refused to cheer in victory now.

* * *

Perhaps it had been both of them, because Severus couldn’t exactly say that he thought this whole ordeal would be terribly easy, he figured he’d be the only one trying. He had figured that Harry would think it odd the way he was trying to approach the situation, instead the boy had kindly accepted whatever he was trying to offer.

Severus was oddly... _ touched _ by such a thing.

Afterall it wasn’t everyday that you found a student willingly accepting something from him, the scary potions master that he was.

Harry had made it a point-the boy was trying a bit too hard in his opinion-to show that he wasn’t bothered by what had happened yesterday evening at all. He had actually gotten up before Severus, and had done what he’d done before, made them both their prefered drink. The boy had actually asked if he could make breakfast.

“Hey, um,” He met the boy’s nervous green eyes, and set his coffee down. “Can I make breakfast? Or try at least, I’ve cooked before, but I’m not sure if I’m good at it or not.” He knew he was staring, he knew he should stop staring, but he didn’t. The way Harry had offered, even what he had offered, it was just so blissfully... _ domestic _ .

Severus would have to be a fool to know that his face wasn’t in flames.

He was however, an egotistical male with a pride to protect so he chose to promptly ignore the fact.

“Have at it, just keep the mess to a minimum, I like a tidy house.” 

“Uh huh,” Harry’s eyes traveled to the glass on the floor and suddenly Severus felt his face get even hotter at the memory, and before he knew it Harry’s loud laughter filled the air, and the boy doubled over, laughing like there was no tomorrow, clutching his stomach and grabbing the counter for support.

Severus watched him all the while and slowly a  _ smile _ split his face, and he held his face in one hand and suppressed his chuckles, watching the boy practically die in his kitchen from his own laughter. This was something new, and maybe it was odd to others, but to him, this felt, well it felt nice. Harry wiped at the side of his eyes, and straightened up, trying to catch his breath. 

Harry smiled at him, and Severus had no qualms about smiling back. In fact it seemed like the boy was surprised to see him smile, but he quickly returned to smiling back, his face dusted in pink.

“What sounds good to you Severus?” Harry had said it so easily, with that soft smile on his face, and Merlin if it wasn’t the most wonderful sight he’d ever seen he’d rather be blind, and all he could do was stare, and Harry kept the eye contact all the way through.

“I’m afraid if I tell you you’ll burn down my kitchen.”

“Eggs benedict it is.”

He could get used to something so  _ easy _ , something so  _ ready _ for him, in aspect of mind and body. Harry always had a retort on the tip of his tongue, he wanted to be here.

Severus couldn’t imagine a better feeling if he tried.

While Harry was turned away from him, Severus took the time to notice the little details, and he watched them with an intensity he was sure Pott- _ Harry  _ would turn around any second now and catch him red-handed. The boy didn’t and he continued with what he was doing unbothered. He watched Harry’s hands, how they moved practacidly, like they’d done this hundreds of times. 

Slowly he made his way around the counter, setting his mug down gently, and with only a small amount of apprehension, placed his hand just above Harry’s left hip, feeling the body under his hand tense. With hesitation, he placed his other hand on Harry’s opposite hip and allowed himself to hold the boy from behind. Inexperienced as he was, he did know some things, and he felt in his gut that right now, this was the thing to do.

“Is this alright?” He mumbled into Harry’s hair, sliding his arms around the smaller male, and marveling at the height difference, another reason he enjoyed being so tall. He waited for a response, but Harry just kept cooking, as if Severus hadn’t spoken at all. Severus waited a beat, and then two, before trying again, beginning to feel uncomfortable without Harry’s consent.

“Harry?” The boy jolted when he heard his name, and Severus felt a smirk pull at his mouth.

“Hm? Yes?” The boy questioned, and Severus felt more chuckles burn at his throat, it almost sickened him what this boy could do to him.

“You weren’t paying attention were you.” It wasn’t a question, it was a statement and Harry knew it too, he slumped lightly and sighed, continuing to cook with Severus’s arms around him.

“No,” His response sounded playfully annoyed, but not entirely regretful either.

“I asked if this was okay.” He had his answer when Harry leaned backwards, pressing himself into Severus’s chest carefully.

“Yes it's fine, just um…”

He knew something was wrong.

“What?” He asked, trying to keep the disappointment and regret from his tone.

“It’s very hard to cook breakfast like this.” Harry laughed half-heartedly, and Severus actually sighed, lightly thudding his forehead against the back of Harry’s head. Somewhere he knew that he should probably slow down and take a step back, but the other part told him that Harry was warm, and Harry smelled good, and he could protect him better like this.

_ I’ve set the line, our relationship doesn’t even have to be romantic, as long as I can protect him. _

They ate breakfast with light chatter, they were both fairly hungry, so they didn’t speak much, instead choosing to enjoy the peace and their food. He helped Harry gather what little dishes were leftover before turning to the floor to scourgify the mess away, and using the same thing on the dishes as he did so.

They actually talked for a while, about Potions above all things, and what Harry found most confusing about the subject, Severus gave him some tips to use in class, nothing that would count as cheating of course, he was still a professor after all. Harry pleaded for an answer or two and Severus could only shake his head at the boy.

They both stood from the dining table, at the same time, finding the dishes done, Severus began to put them away, Harry soon joining him. The boy barely reached his shoulder, and the thought made him think about how much younger the boy was compared to himself, he tried to push the thought away but oddly enough it was eating at him, and all he could think about was how Harry must feel, even touching someone like him.

“Are you okay with this?” He asked again, unable to meet the boy’s eyes this time, he wanted to know, because his conscience wouldn’t let him rest without a real answer.

“With what?” Harry had stopped putting dishes away, and instead turned to face him, but he refused to look at the boy, couldn’t bring himself to physically do so.

“With,” He pointed to Harry and then back at himself. “ _ This _ .” He emphasized the word, so that Harry would surely get his point.

Silence ensued, and he closed his eyes, finally understanding that the boy was probably only looking for something simple, not at all what Severus had thought this was. He felt like a fool, but at the same time he couldn’t exactly blame the boy, he wasn’t exactly the most attractive male to exist, and even if he was his personality certainly drive people off.

He tried to swallow through his dry mouth, and he licked his lips, trying to bury his frustration under the understanding that came with everything. It was so hard, because he had tried to make this work in his mind, and it had for just a moment everything had felt perfect-!

The boy was kissing him, a simple press of lips against lips, not pressing any further.

You remember the line? Yeah, that line is really thin turns out.

“This is a rare moment where I’m going to call you an insufferable git without actually meaning it.” Harry mumbled as he pulled away. Severus felt the weight pull away from his chest as he looked into Harry’s eyes, watching the boy’s face flush beautifully, he moved forward this time, capturing the boy’s mouth with his own.

It was passionate, and tasted of bitter tea.

_ Just how I like it. _


	8. Dance With Me Boy

“Did you see Hermione today? She put her hair in a ponytail, it looks really good like that, I like how she left-”

This was what Harry had been listening to for the past ten minutes, and Ron just wouldn’t stop, he didn’t exactly have a problem with Ron talking but listening to Ron tell him why he loved what Hermione did with her hair today for ten minutes was a bit of a stretch. Harry smiled fondly, wondering when his best mate would work up the guts to tell their third companion that he loved her.

They were on their way to Herbology, they had at least ten minutes to spare, but they wanted to be there on time today, unlike last time, they’d both been fifteen minutes late and were forced to have detention. Which Harry had to admit, detention was a lot less fun when Snape wasn’t the one dishing it out.

Harry sighed out through his nose and let himself drift for a second, today was Tuesday and he was already dreading how many days he would have to wait until he got to see Snape again. They had agreed that it would be quiet odd if Harry kept showing up to class late, looking just as he had the day before, but they hadn’t come up with a proper excuse, fortunately, Harry had a moment of idiotic genius Sunday, when he’d entered the dining hall. Giving them the perfect excuse to see each other.

It was actually Hermione’s fault actually.

* * *

Trying to catch his breath, Harry stood just outside the grand hall, trying to assemble himself, he’d worked up quite the sweat on the way down here, trying to arrive before dinner ended, or worse, his friends came looking for him. He cleared his throat and pushed open the doors, thankfully seating himself before too many eyes could find him.

He sighed in relief when he sat down, going to pull some chicken onto his plate, he was so hungry.

_ Finally out of the woods. _

“Where have you been today Harry?” 

_ Or not… _

He blanched at the sound of his female-best friend’s voice, and he felt his mouth go collectively dry, trying to come up with a good response. His brain screamed at him, he should’ve thought of something beforehand! Yet here he sat, silent and more than two people staring at him. He felt so stupid, so he spat out the first thing to come to mind.

“I was with…” 

Ron and Hermione leaned in close, clearly wanting to know his answer, he broke out in a nervous sweat, his breathing becoming slightly labored.

“Luna?” It sounded like a question even to him. No! This wasn’t right! He was lying! He knew that he couldn’t exactly tell them he’d spent the day with Snape in the man’s classroom building sexual tension that still hadn’t been released! That just sounded terrible! 

“Lovegood?” Ron questioned, and then after a moment joyfully patted his back in congratulations. “Way to go mate! I’m proud of you for finally joining the members of non-virgins.” 

He gave Ron a look and Hermione looked somewhere between ‘laugh incredulously or seriously berate’ He couldn’t tell which one she was going to do. Instead, she scoffed with a roll of her eyes and spoke with a haughty tone-he thought he caught jealousy in there somewhere.

“Oh please,” She had a sip of her water and focused her gaze on Ron. “You are going to be the last boy in this school who remains a virgin, I bet even Malfoy will score before you do, and his personality is the equivalent of a rotten apple.” He’d never heard Hermione speak this way and he almost laughed, and then when he saw Ron’s face he joined in the Weasley twins’ laughter with his own.

He held himself up barely and when he looked up, he found Snape staring at him, and he sent the man a secretive smile, and then dropped it before anyone else could see who he was looking at.

“So Harry,” Hermione continued unbuffed, even though he could tell that she was silently proud. “You’ve been gone with Luna? That’s where you keep going?” He nodded, trying to keep everything together, he could roll with this story-that didn’t mean he felt good about doing it-as long as Snape didn’t get into any trouble then it was fine. Then he would be fine.

“Hm,” Hermione hummed, and Ron sat silently, poking at his food now, he felt his gut hollow out as he looked at them, he felt awful for lying, they deserved the full truth, but the full truth wasn’t exactly something he could give to them right now. He knew that, and lying about it didn’t make him feel any better.

He stood up, excusing himself, some off-handed comment about going to bed early falling from his mouth.

He wasn’t hungry anymore.

* * *

“Harry wait! Watch out-!” He startled from himself, and tried whipping back to look at Ron, but instead found himself being pulled forward, his feet flying out from underneath him as he began to slip backward, but instead was pressed gently into something softer, something warmer, and something all-too-familiar.

He recognized this smell, and he inhaled, trying to savor this public closeness that he was being shown, it was odd how he almost wanted people to know, but he knew what was best, and this wasn’t it.

No matter how much he begged to differ internally.

He felt Severus pull away from him, and when he opened his eyes again, they were but a hair’s breadth apart, their lips so close Harry swore that he could just lean in a little bit and there they would be, pressed against his own. He felt his face flush and he met Severus’s dark eyes, so close right now. He could feel the heat resonate through his body and he swallowed, trying to find moisture that wasn’t there anymore.

Severus’s hand was enclosed around his wrist, keeping him upright, and his long arm was slung across his waist, keeping him firmly against his professor. Harry was secretly glad that they had this moment because it just felt like forever since he was last in Severus’s arms, so close, finally feeling that warmth that he always seemed to lack nowadays.

“Potter,” Severus mumbled, and the warmth from his breath made Harry shiver, trying to pull himself together before he had to pull away. He felt his heart hammering his chest, beating so frantically, and he wondered if Severus could hear, or even possibly feel his heart right now.

“Sir,” He forced out of his dry throat, and he unconsciously licked his lips in anticipation, and he was so ashamed to admit that Severus watching his actions, and licking his lips in return to them, aroused him a great deal, and he would have to pull away right now unless he wanted to show up to Herbology with a hard-on - He definitely did not.

Severus cleared his throat and let Harry go, brushing past them and onto his next class, and Harry stood there, trying to get his face to look relatively normal, not like one of his house colors, then Ron would know for sure.

“As much as I think Snape is a greasy git I have to say he’s fast on his feet!” Harry jolted turning to face Ron, and he gave his best friend a half-hearted grin, nodding but trying to seem disinterested in the whole thing. He was surprised Ron could say something so nice about Severus, after all, Ron definitely didn’t favor the man.

“But he also made us late, so I take back my compliment.” 

There it was, always the downside, and that would be another reason why Ron would not be the first one he told.

* * *

“Dance with me, Potter,”

“Harry, my name is _Harry,_ Severus.”

“I apologize old habits die hard.”

“Why on Earth would you want to dance? I have two left feet anyway, I’d step on your feet!”

“Please boy, you couldn’t hurt me if you tried.”

“Is that a challenge?”

“Is that your subtle way of trying to change the subject?”

“...Don’t blame me if I break your toes.”

Harry got up from the couch, where he had a book in front of him, he wouldn’t let Severus see what book it was, because it was really the only reason he was passing his Potions class. Whoever had made that book had seriously been good at the subject, like a master at it. Harry was jealous, but if he was being honest, he’d read that book more than once, just looking at the little notes and instructions and careful warnings.

It was like a dance in itself with that person, they’d been so cleverly witty and precise like they knew they were the best, it was intense how he (Harry assumed it was a guy) would give little suggestions at the bottom, like what to use those specific potions on. His favorite was one the man wrote about getting back at his enemy’s.

_ Could be used to manipulate the person’s psyche, making them think they are in a dream, thus embarrassing themselves further. I feel like this will be one I use in the future if only I could get a moment away to actually try it, but unfortunately, I seem rather busy at the moment, I will just have to record it’s progression later. _

There was never a later entry following about the potion but Harry really wished to know if it worked or not. It was a frivolous potion, one without extreme need or purpose, but simply for fun, he wondered if perhaps Severus had fun when making potions when he was younger, if he simply grew out of the fun part, and only saw it as a job now instead.

He reached for Severus’s hand, and he smirked coyly, wiggling his eyebrows at the man.

“Can I lead?” He almost laughed at the expression that crossed Severus’s face, and the man scoffed, an inkling of a smile peeking through.

“Oh please boy, the day you lead me in a dance is the day that I admit Mr. Weasley has a passing mark in my class.”

“Does he?” Harry inquired quizzically. 

“You wish boy,” Severus smirked back, and Harry’s features relaxed into the smooth sort of calm that he only had when he was here, in this cozy little complex that didn’t belong to him.

“Can I at least pick the music?” Harry questioned, and Severus nodded reluctantly, pointing him towards the records that sat neatly in a corner. Harry walked over, purposefully swinging his hips with a playful note in mind. He leaned down and grabbed a handful of records, slowly bringing himself back up. He was really having too much fun doing this to poor Severus.

He found a blank cover, and he raised an eyebrow, flipping it over, finding a small neat scrawl of writing in the top left corner.

_ Love Like You ~ June 12 1972 _

_ ~ I Hope you have a great summer Sev! _

_ ~With Love, Lily~ _

Harry gently traced his fingers above the writing, and he smiled, he wondered what Severus had been like when he was younger, what he did for fun, what he did when he was bored, what books he read, what he was  _ like _ because he was still here while other people weren’t. Severus was real, he didn’t sugarcoat life, because he’d experienced more life than thousands of people had, he was  _ real _ , and he treated everything he did in life with the utmost care.

“How about this one?” Harry said as he popped it in, and before Severus could even look at what was going to be played, a soft piano started and Harry grabbed Severus’s hand.

_ “If I could begin to be, half of what you think of me, I could do about anything,” _

“Harry I don’t think-” Severus started, but Harry placed himself against the man, listening to his quickly accelerating heart rate.

“It’s okay, I promise.” He could only hope that with those words would reach the man, because without his words he didn’t know how much he would be worth.

_ “I could even learn how to love...” _

With one move from Severus they were swaying across the floor, in elegant motions and twirls, and it truly seemed like they’d done this many times before, hands clapping and feet tapping against the floor, Severus spirling him into a dizzy sprawl, yet never letting him fall.

_ “Like you…” _

It almost seemed like time was slipping away, right here, with the soft orange glow of the candlelight, and the darkness of the rest of the room. With this man’s arms around him and the heat between them, it felt too real, yet Harry knew he would never back out, not if he could be right here like this, with this one person that he held closer than anyone.

The music continued to play, and eventually, they were just slowly moving to the melody, content to just stay where they were, and Harry lifted his eyes, meeting those dark depths he could get lost in.

_ “I could even learn how to love…” _

He knew that there would be something to come of his actions someday, but right now he would choose not to care about such things. He knew that the day would come when he would have to face his destiny, what he was born for, but before he had to, he would dip his toes into the burning flames that were Severus Snape, letting them consume him before he consumed himself.

_ “Like you…” _

The lips that met his were just as desperate as his heart was, and he knew that Severus had figured out what was on his mind, and he chose to let Harry be.

Because Severus was real, and he knew not to get into something that wasn’t worth it.

The only thing that Harry registered was that meant he was worth it, to Severus he was worth it.

And the thought sent his heart careening, as he continued to kiss fervent lips.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uggghhhh I am so terribly sorry, so much has happened to me recently that it's just nuts, but fear not, for a have delivered to you a chapter! Unfortunately, this might be the last chapter for a while, during the summer I try to work as much as I possibly can, and that means very little free time. I'm so sorry loves, but that means very little updates. I love all of you so much, and no this story isn't over, because who ends something at eight chapters? I hope you are all safe and well, please be safe.


	9. Happy Birthday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> NSFW ahead don’t read if someone’s looking over your shoulder lmao Kindaish longer than most of these chapters bc it was Harry’s Birthday!!

It was over, and this year Harry was strangely not as relieved as he was other years. He sighed, the last of his belongings put away in his trunk. He’d passed all of his OWLS with relatively good marks, but he hadn’t been as happy as his other friends had. It was hard to be happy when he would be leaving for the whole summer and he wouldn’t be coming back until the start of his sixth year at Hogwarts.

Which meant…

Harry thought of the last night they’d shared together, before he had to leave; his socked feet in Severus’s lap, a book in his hands-the same book from before-and a book in the eloquent man’s hands as well. It was quiet, neither of them quite too brave to address the ever-growing tension in the room.

Severus.

He would miss Severus, very much so. And he sat on his bed in Gryffindor Tower, for just a little longer, he’d told everyone to go ahead of him, and he sat there contemplating, wishing for some hope that he’d be able to see Severus once before the entirety of the summer was up.

He felt selfish too, it was not fair of him to wish for Severus’s time, he was a busy man, he had things to do, what with The Order and the many other things he had to attend to, including...well Voldemort. Harry knew, and he wouldn’t think too much about it, but he knew that the man was a spy, and that was often why some nights Harry would be alone in Severus’s chambers, snuggled in his sheets, reading a book, hoping for that familiar warmth to come back to him.

Coming back to the present, Harry got up, quickly leaving Gryffindor Tower and going to get some quick breakfast. He knew not to hope for anything, he knew not to.

He still did.

* * *

He hadn’t gotten to say goodbye, and it stung his heart, it hurt so badly, even as he Floo-ed to the Burrow, his eyes stung and all he could do was cough to try and get rid of the feeling. He would be lying to himself if he said he wasn’t upset-for lack of a better word-because, he knew it wasn’t Severus’s job, but maybe trying to ease the uneasiness in his chest would’ve been the thing for the man to do.

Harry would only think about this just now, but it seemed like he knew a whole lot lately. He seemed to be fixated on that particular word, because he felt like he knew a whole lot more than the average person his age tended to.

He wished he could know more, because even with everything that he did know, he still felt like he was lacking  _ somewhere _ , like he wasn’t being told  _ something _ . He hated that feeling. So he sat, through idle chat, through dinner, through a celebration throughout the Burrow, he sat, and no one seemed to notice, and he was fine with that, if no one saw, then no one could question.

When he said he was tired, he picked up his cup and brought it to the kitchen, he slowly placed it in the sink, and when he turned, Molly stood there, and she enveloped him in a small hug. 

He’d always enjoyed Molly’s hugs the most, she smelled good, and she was always kind, unless it came to her boys doing wrong and making mischief, then she would bring the hammer down. He set his head on top of hers and she came back, bringing her hands to his face and inspecting everything that was there, as if she could see his problems by just looking at his face.

“Harry dear,” she took his hand in her own, and he felt the tears in his eyes again; what was it about a few motherly words that had him falling apart, wanting to succumb to her warm embrace and just telling her everything that hurt, everything that he couldn’t change, everything that he wished he could do for all these people that were depending on him?

“Do you want to talk dear?” He could, he thought, and he looked into her kind eyes, wanting to tell her everything, he really could tell her everything, he would never be too sure if she would keep it a secret, because Molly would do what every mother would-what she thought was best, even if that meant betraying Harry’s trust.

So he smiled, a small reserved smile, and he knew then that there would only be one person whom he could actually tell everything to. He shook his head, and he hugged her again, and let his tears fall.

That person wouldn’t be here for a while, so he would have to keep it in, he would have to be brave.

Because they needed him to be brave, they needed him.

And he’d give them everything he had.

His own life be damned.  


* * *

By the time he’d actually settled into Grimmauld Place, it was but a few days before the end of July, and Harry was well and ready to get the summer over with. He’d spent a lot of his time at the Burrow, simply trying to ignore the ache in his chest, and how it seemed to get bigger every day, so he tried to preoccupy himself with meaningless things, and it worked up until the moment he came to stay here.

It wasn’t that he didn’t want to be here, he loved Sirius and Remus both very much, it was just...a bit too real feeling. He supposed he felt rather spoiled now, he’d been able to ignore the real world when he was with the Weasley’s, and now that he wasn’t with them anymore, reality became all the more apparent.

So he was left to do his own thing, Sirius having not been able to wipe the grin from his face since he arrived, and Harry smiled with him, because as much as he wished his real dad were here, he wasn’t, but Sirius was, and Sirius talked to him as if he were his own son, and sometimes, Harry treasured that more than life itself.

He knew that leaving would be even harder on Sirius that it would be on him, sure Sirius had Remus, but even so, Remus was allowed to leave. He just couldn’t help but wonder what his godfather would be up to when he left for school once again.  _ School _ , he thought fondly, no matter where he was, he would always consider Hogwarts to be his home. That was the place the showed him so much warmth and happiness even in times of panic it always had this...aura about it that would continue to bring Harry back.

Sighing he made his way to the bathroom, July thirtieth, he sighed, it was hard to go downstairs and smile and be happy, even if no one was awake at this hour, because all anyone was talking about was his birthday and no offense to any of them but he didn’t exactly want to celebrate his life, especially because his life had brought the fall of so many others.

He looked at himself in the mirror and had to suppress a wince; Merlin's beard he looked  _ terrible _ , small bags had formed under his eyes and he was so pale. He’d been eating though hadn’t he? He wasn’t super concerned with his eating schedule, he just ate when he felt like it. He lifted up his shit and resisted the urge to groan this time. His ribs were becoming visible. Bloody hell, he’d seriously allowed himself to drop this low? How was this possible? He’d been eating he swore, he knew however that it was just a loss of appetite, he just had so much going on in his head that eating had become less of a priority than everything else.

He licked his dry lips, he recalled that Remus wouldn’t be here today, saying something about visiting an old friend. Sirius was sure to still be asleep, it was roughly ten maybe ten-thirty in the evening, and Harry knew that the man liked to get his sleep. So carefully Harry made his way downstairs and into the kitchen, he wasn’t purposely trying to starve himself it just happened, so yes he still wanted food. Entering quietly Harry stood in the doorway for a moment, and grazed his hand over the backs of one of Sirius’s chairs, recalling fondly that this was where Severus had sat during the first order meeting Harry had ever witnessed.

He sighed and made to grab an apple, he wanted something easy to eat, and he wanted to go to bed, he wasn’t tired but he was exhausted, and that seemed to be how he felt lately, totally and  _ utterly exhausted, _ from lack of sleep and his mind being everywhere but in his head.

He sighed again and this time leaned forward next to the counter positioning his elbows there and letting his head drop into his hands. This was beginning to be too much, he wanted to see Severus, he  _ needed _ to see Severus, but he couldn’t. It was like an undefined force, one that told him,  _ no _ , and Harry had the sneaking suspicion that it was Severus’s will keeping him away. It would seem far too suspicious if they met outside of school, and it would raise questions and talk and that was the last thing they needed. 

He rubbed under his eyes and stood straight, holding himself tight, imagining that for just a moment that Severus was waiting for him, that he was just as impatient as Harry, that the fire in him had dimmed without the fuel to make it burn brighter, he hoped and he  _ wished _ , and he convinced himself for a moment that maybe, just maybe, Severus missed him too.

It was an unfounded thought, but it comforted him nonetheless.

With shaky hands, Harry grabbed his apple and turned on his heel. It would be foolish to wish for Severus to take time away from his duty, just for him, he knew that this whole thing was way bigger than he was, and Harry knew he shouldn’t have minded, he knew it shouldn't have bothered him as much as it did, but he had to remember that Severus was going to give everything, and it was all for him in the end.

The thought made Harry want to cry and unwillingly tears sprung to his eyes. He wasn’t angry at himself for feeling this way, because he had been upset over the notion for a very long time. He tried not to think about it, he tried not to think about the fact that at the end of all of this Severus might not be alive, that Voldemort might snap and try to kill him, he tried very hard not to think about the fact that he would then forever be alone and he would no longer be able to grace himself with a presence such as Severus.

He wondered, idly, when he began to depend on Severus so much, when had he told himself that life was much better with the man around? When had it become apparent that living this life with Severus was much better than living it alone? He had no answer, but Severus knew, he knew things about Harry that no one would ever be able to understand, and there was something about that feeling that called to Harry.

It was...love.

He...loved Severus, and..and…

Harry had made it all the way upstairs and to his door, before he began to sob, and he threw the door open, not hearing nor acknowledging the grunt of discomfort, he fell to the floor unable to keep his legs beneath him any longer. His apple long forgotten he tried to breathe, but found it impossible.

Severus would never know he felt this way, because Harry could feel it like the ominous dark wave that was approaching, and he knew that Severus would never know he felt this way, because time was running out, and Harry wouldn't dare to burden Severus with such a thing, not when both their times were coming.

So he sobbed harder, clawing at his chest, casting a silencing charm around the room, the last thing he wanted was a for Sirius to hear. And he blurrily watched his tears fall to the floor, wanting to reverse this, to not cry, to not be weak, to not realize something that was killing him inside.

“Harry.” His head snapped up immediately, and all of the blood drained from his face. And he stopped breathing as Severus rushed to his side, completely in a trance and unable to believe that one of his dreams was so vivid. Had he fallen asleep? He was sure that must’ve been the case. The man stopped in front of him, and Harry watched with itchy eyes as he dropped to the floor in front of him.

“You know,” He stated and smiled a wry smile, curse his mind for continuing to supply him with images of this man, this gorgeous man. “I think my mind must’ve begun to pity me, because,” He reached forward and let his hand graze upon Severus's cheek, tears continuing to fall; it just felt so  _ real _ .

“You’re never this beautiful, you’re never this real.” Harry smiled at him, and let his hand fall, he wanted to wake up now. He wasn’t quite sure if this was a nightmare or a dream, maybe a mix of the two. It hurt and yet there was that inkling of relief, just with that image he could imagine Severus and he could hope that the man was doing well.

There was silence and Harry let his weight fall against his bed frame, waiting for this reality to come to an end, he wanted to wake up and it would be his birthday and then he would pretend he was fine and he would smile, even if his reason to smile wasn’t next to him.

His chin was forced up by a gentle hand and with mirth, he thought; _ I suppose torture doesn’t end when you want it to.  _ And so he met those eternally dark depth’s that he loved so much, knowing that when he awoke they would be gone, and his heart would ache further.

“In my dreams, you are never this sad.” Harry didn’t get to respond, for soft lips grazed over his own, and in that second Harry thought that he could make it through this dream, that if it made him think that Severus loved him too, then he could endure. Those lips pressed against his own fervently and Harry pressed back gently, not wanting to break this dream.

When Severus pulled apart from Harry all the boy could do was press forward, and lean his head against Severus’s heart, listening to the erratic thumping there, and he smiled.

“You’re never this warm.” He said back, and his tears refused to cease, further soaking his own face and Severus’s shirt.

“You  _ are _ this dense in my dreams, but I thought that perhaps you’d have gotten better in real life.” Harry gasped and wrenched away, looking up at Severus, this...this _ wasn’t a dream _ ? He knew his expression was comical, yet Severus didn’t smile, he just watched.

“S-Severus?” Harry spoke breathlessly, and for the time being, his tears did stop. Severus continued to look at him that carefully blank canvas, and Harry gasped when the man leaned in once more.

“I’ve missed you, Harry.” Soft lips pressed against his own and Harry closed his eyes, wrapping his arms all around this flame, this flame that made him burn up inside. He laughed a giddy sort of sound against Severus’s lips and pressed himself into the man's lap. That closeness he’d been craving was to be sated as Severus rested his hands on Harry’s hips, but seemingly couldn't resist himself and ran them all over the boys back, pulling him closer, his long fingers threading in Harry’s hair, pulling a moan from the boy above him.

“Severus,” Harry said happily as they pulled apart, tears of a different kind poured from his eyes and a splitting smile broke out on his face, this happiness was overwhelming, it hurt but it didn’t, it was breathtaking yet all at once it felt like he could breathe again. This pain in his chest was one of longing that had been forgotten but not forgiven.

“You’re here! You’re actually here!” Harry said excitedly and Severus’s features relaxed and a smile lit his face as well, the sight was one Harry would cherish forever, and he leaned forward to press his forehead against this man’s, the man that he loved.

“Indeed I am, and as thrilled as I am to be here, I do wish you’d stop crying, I don’t like to see you this way.” Harry smiled wider despite himself and tears still fell, but that didn’t matter for the moment. Nothing but the man who held him mattered. That was all.

“Oh god, I’ve missed you.” Harry kissed Severus’s jaw, and continued to his neck, he was so courageous right now, he felt like he could do anything. Harry failed to notice the effect he had on the room, his only concern the man who stroked fingers up his back. Harry bit and sucked at the pulse in Severus’s neck, and the man groaned, Harry wanted something, he didn’t know what but he wanted this, whatever this was.

Sucking turned to biting and all too quickly Severus’s mouth was on his, and he was standing and so was Harry and they were tugging, pulling, caressing, anything their hands could reach. Harry gasped as Severus flipped them, Harry flat against the wall and Severus caging him in, something deep in his stomach purred in satisfaction, this was what he had been missing, this heat, this burning that flowed through his veins, he had been missing this.

Harry tugged the man forward smashing their mouths together, and reveling in the groan that came from Severus. He tugged at Severus’s shirt and Severus’s hands glided over his exposed hips, his shirt having ridden up. Harry shivered in delight, he liked that feeling a lot. But he wanted pressure, he wanted Severus to grip, to hurt, to bruise, he wanted to make Severus want this.

He pulled his hands away covering Severus’s with his own. “Harder,” He bit out and squeezed to get his point across, a breathy moan left him when Severus gave a light squeeze, and he arched forward when Severus grip changed to a painful grasp. He wanted those calloused hands all over him, he wanted to feel the rough skin against his own, he wanted Severus.

“Louder, I want to hear you.” And Severus dove to his neck, biting, nipping and sucking, Harry gasped and a sound the likes of nothing he’d ever heard left his mouth, _filthy_ , _naughty_ and by all means... _ hot _ in  _ every sense of the word. _

“Severus,” he moaned out the man's name as Severus forced a leg between his own. Severus rubbed up and Harry couldn’t hold in the broken moan that left him, friction, he wanted friction. He wanted to be touched and to touch, he wanted everything and nothing, at some point he knew what he wanted but it was lost on him.

“I-I want,” Harry gripped at Severus’s belt and yanked, wanting that skin on skin contact, he wanted it.

“Patience.” Severus quipped, and Harry hardly registered that his shirt was gone, Severus’s hands tracing hesitant lines over his ribs, the ones that he could definitely see. Harry tried to catch his breath, to explain that it  _ wasn’t what it looked like. _ But Severus beat him to the punch, kissing a small trail from his ribs to his chest, and with bated breath, Harry watched as Severus took his nipple in his mouth.

He couldn’t hold himself anymore and he almost collapsed, before Severus took his thighs and pressed flush against him, pinning him to the wall, and he continued his ministrations on Harry’s chest, Harry continued to moan as Severus switched to his other sensitive bud. He couldn’t believe something could feel so good, and he threw his head back, the thump of his head against the wall drew Severus’s attention and Harry couldn’t believe that the look in that man’s eyes could turn him on even more.

Severus continued to hold Harry there for a moment, before one of his hands rubbed against the ever-growing tent in his pants, and Harry bucked forward involuntarily, wanting to beg, he wanted to be touched so badly, god he was so hard it hurt. Before Harry knew it he was being thrown on the bed, and his pants were being discarded. Harry sputtered, wanting to know what Severus was doing.

“In a few hours, it will be your birthday, yes?” Severus asked, spreading Harry’s knees and settling between them. Harry nodded, he hoped this was going where he thought it was.

With a raised eyebrow Severus grabbed Harry roughly and Harry jolted from the contact, he wasn’t sure if he was in pain or enraptured in pleasure.

“Use your words,  _ Prince _ .” Harry almost sobbed, oh god this should not be turning him on this much. With shaking hands he grabbed the sheets in between his fingers.

“God y-yes,” His heart was beating so fast he almost thought it might spring from his chest any minute.

“Hm,” Severus hummed in approval, releasing Harry and slowly painfully slowly began to remove Harry’s boxers. Harry didn’t want to watch, he wanted to  _ feel _ so he closed his eyes, trying to relax, everything would be fine, he needed to breathe-

He gasped, as Severus took him in his hand, his hips rising to meet his hand, and then Severus’s other pushed him right back down, clearly, this was only the beginning of what Harry could hope to be a magnificent blowjob.

“Severus! Please-!” He was cut off, a lick to the head of his cock making him silent for a moment, a moan threatening to escape.

“That would be  _ sir _ to you,  _ Prince _ .” Harry could’ve come right then, but he didn’t he just nodded, and Severus took that to be enough. It was slow , and Severus took his time, but by the time Severus had taken him in his mouth, Harry was a moaning mess, trying and failing to be quiet. He couldn’t be more thankful to himself that he’d placed a silencing charm over the room.

Severus had a steady pace, and after bobbing his head for a while he managed to take all of Harry in his mouth and Harry’s mind wondered if Severus had practice, if he knew how to do this, and Harry moaned louder at the thought, precum springing from his cock, and Severus licked all the way from the base to the head, suddenly Harry was brought to a whole new level of arousal. 

“Sir, I-I’m-I’m-“

He knew he was close and so did Severus, because he pushed forward, Harry’s cock still in his hand, and made Harry meet his eyes. Severus pressed his mouth to Harry’s and against his lips he mumbled seductively.

“Come for me.” And Harry lost it, his back arching and head thrown backward, a filthy moan ripping from his lips as he came all over Severus’s hand, Severus groaning with him, having gotten off himself just from the boy doing that, Harry didn’t know that and continued to shake, riding out his high, letting out all his air as he breathlessly flopped against the mattress.

Severus watched the look on Harry’s face and found it to be much better than how he looked earlier. He tilted Harry’s head up and pressed their lips together drawing a happy sigh from the man below him. Harry held him close, and Severus shifted them onto their sides so he could Harry to him, listening to the shallow breathing of his lover.

It was obvious that Harry had been distraught over something, from the way he had entered the room it was obviously a big deal. But Severus didn’t ask, because now wasn’t the right time, he could ask him tomorrow, when they weren’t spent and drowning in the afterglow bliss of orgasm. 

“Harry,” He called, and with fluttering eyes green met black, Severus held back his smile, it was a wonder Harry could do these things to him without meaning to.

“Happy birthday, Harry.” Harry smiled and pressed his face into Severus’s neck inhaling deeply and holding tight, Severus was the same, he didn’t want to let go, he had missed Harry deeply and sleep was an almost nonexistent thing, it was hard to function when he had become too used to Harry being there, he was apart of Severus schedule, and even today he kept forgetting that Harry wouldn't sneak into his chambers, he wouldn’t sleep in the same bed as him, and it was hard to be happy when he knew that.

“Severus,” Harry said quietly, and Severus tilted his head down, wondering what could be keeping Harry from sleep.

The boy spoke no further but pressed a gentle kiss to his lips that conveyed a thousand words that could not be spoken.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! I hope you enjoyed this chapter! I know it’s been a while I’m sorry, but I had so much fun writing this chapter and i do think it was my favorite so far! Tell me what y’all think! I love you guys!


	10. Luna Lovegood The Scapegoat

Snape had to leave before the sun rose, but he promised to be back later that day, most likely when everyone else showed up. Harry had a hard time getting back to sleep but he accomplished it eventually, and he awoke to a very happy Sirius, shaking him and exclaiming that it was time to get up.

He roused himself, still trying to comprehend the night before, and as Sirius exited, telling him to hurry up, Harry felt his entire face flush-no his whole body-and his eyes whipped to the wall where he’d been pinned just hours before.

He felt the shivers along his arms and bit his lip recalling everything that had to have been one of the best nights of his life. Harry smiled and held in his giddy laugh, they’d actually done it! Something that moved them forward in a direction, with his revelation last night it just became all the more apparent how important that sort of thing was.

Jumping from his bed, he was happy to find no mess, because then he’d have to clean that and he didn’t think he’d last through cleaning such a thing off his sheets, the memory would certainly get the best of him. Then the obvious thought that Severus had swallowed all of it made him burn even brighter and he almost screamed in frustration.

He threw on a shirt and pants, suddenly happy that Sirius hadn’t thrown off his sheets as an early sort of birthday surprise- the man surely would have regretted that.

Harry happily made his way down the stairs a smile upon his face that he couldn’t get rid of even if he wanted to. He made to go into the living room, but a hand grabbed his arm and with a small  _ ‘eep’ _ he was pulled into the kitchen.

He half expected a loud _‘HAPPY_ _BIRTHDAY’_ to be screamed into his ear by George or Fred, but instead, a hissed _“You’d go out there looking like that?”_ Resounded in his ear.

He knew that voice, and despite the man’s tone he still smiled and leaned his head back so it touched Severus’s chest.

“Are you saying my sense of style is bad?” Harry challenged, and through the man’s stoic demeanor Harry could see he accepted his verbal duel.

“No I’m saying you lack complete common sense, and you should make your terrible sense of fashion work with it.” Severus trailed his hands up and Harry felt him press a spot on his neck and he winced, that kind of hurt-

Oh hell, he’d forgotten about the bruises from last night. He paled suddenly, how would he have gotten himself out of that situation? He exhaled and leaned back, he couldn’t go out there looking like this! He was lucky enough Sirius hadn’t seen it this morning!

“What do I do?” He whispered it wouldn’t do for anyone to know he was awake yet, then they’d just come to him; he definitely didn’t want that.

“Allow me,” Severus said equally as quietly and his wand slid into his hand from his robe, Harry marveled at the barley mumbled incantation before his neck felt lighter and he knew that the bruises were gone. He sagged in relief. At least that part of the problem was over.

“So,” Harry said quietly, a thought crawling its way into his head. “Do I still have to pretend that I hate you?” He felt the tensing behind him and then the stressed sigh against his neck.

_ I’ll take that as a yes. _ Harry thought bitterly.

“You don’t have to hate me, but I have to hate you.” He knew that it was apart of Snape’s job, he wasn’t stupid, it was the way it was worded that bothered him.

_ But I have to hate you. _

Harry felt like that could go two ways. One being that he was forcing himself to hate Harry, and he didn’t actually-Harry hoped this was the case. Or two being that Severus felt obligated to hate Harry and all this time he’d just been fooling around with him. The thought made Harry feel empty.

“Do you have to?” Harry asked meekly and he felt his eyes burn, he hated feeling this way, and acting this way made him feel even more stupid.

“While I am here yes, and you have no idea how much that kills me because what I’d rather be doing is taking you where I want to, to make your day the best I could, but unfortunately, both of us have obligations to attend to.” Severus pressed himself down so his face was buried in Harry’s hair, and the boy let out a dejected sigh.

“But that’s what I want to be doing too…” He said and blinked away his persistent tears. Yes, he wanted to see his friends and family, but he did that almost every year, and neither he nor Severus knew what would happen to them.

“Tomorrow,” Severus said and pressed a slow kiss to Harry’s temple, taking a moment to let it sit. Harry blushed and found himself trying not to shift away; he was sure that if Severus stayed there any longer Harry’s heart would sufficiently no longer be in his chest.

“Tomorrow,” he whispered back quietly, tomorrow he would look forward to, he would wait for tomorrow.

“Good, now go, your public awaits you, Wizard Prince.” Severus bit at his ear before disappearing behind him, and Harry took a moment to compose himself.

Shoving down teenage hormones wasn’t easy, ask anybody, especially when a very sexy Potions Master was the one teasing them.

His birthday had been grand, as he expected it would be, he’d had a wonderful time with everyone, even if Severus stayed in the kitchen most of the time, and pretended he didn’t care that it was Harry’s birthday. The feeling of contempt that laid in his stomach didn’t ebb until he reminded himself that tomorrow, Severus would show him that he did care, that they’d go somewhere, and just enjoy their time together.

There was one instance however that Harry had been turning over in his mind, and he had no doubt that he may have given their image a bit of a shaky turn.

It had been when Severus had stepped in to give him his gift.

* * *

“We think you’ll like that one Harry,” George said easily and spared a mischievous grin towards his brother.

“Use it on Ronald when he won’t suspect a thing, he’ll look like a big yellow bird in under three minutes.” Fred laughed, and George snickered beside him before Molly gave them an admonishing look, and Remus and Sirius spared a look at the box of what looked to be normal caramel candy, before smirking themselves. They knew those boys were the new troublemakers of Hogwarts, they were almost like the new Marauders.

Harry laughed and smiled and suddenly Molly clapped loudly and beamed.

“If that’s everyone, I think we can get to cake now-”

“I hate to interrupt but I have yet to give my gift.” That cold voice stated, and Harry watched everyone in the room tense up. Harry didn’t know Severus planned on giving him anything if anything he thought that he’d be given something tomorrow if he must.

He watched as Sirius scowled and went to say something before Remus grabbed his arm effectively shutting him up and they watched as Snape stepped closer to Harry. He pulled from his cloak a small box, which he then enlarged. It was quite big, bigger than Harry thought it would be, he was expecting maybe like...well he didn’t know what he expected, nothing today at least!

“Here, I know you shall put the contents to good use.” Their fingers brushed momentarily before Harry grabbed the box fully. Offhandedly he noted that the box was a deep green and the bow was silver and he couldn’t help the quirk of his mouth as he gazed at it. When he met Severus’s eyes again the man raised an unamused eyebrow. Harry shoved down the laugh threatening to break through and carefully began to unwrap the gift.

He lifted the lid and inside the box laid the most expensive pair of robes he’d ever gazed upon. He gasped and ran his fingers over the soft material, it was gorgeous. He lifted it for everyone to see, and on the front, his house was embroidered, along with ‘Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry’ and he still couldn’t believe that Severus had bought him such an extravagant gift.

It was too much, and he was about to say so too before he noticed that there was something underneath the cloak as well. With a furrowed brow, he set the cloak aside, and picked up the worn and clearly old Gryffindor scarf, with faded red and yellow yarn.

“I know what you’re thinking,” Snape spoke, annoyance in his voice for effect, Harry knew he wasn’t actually annoyed though. “That doesn’t belong to me. Read the tag Potter.” So Harry looked for the tag, and when he found it, he lost his breath.

**_Lily Evan’s ~ Please return if found!_ **

It was...his mom’s? He carefully glided his fingers over the material, and in his mind’s eye he could see a red-haired girl wearing this same scarf, with a smile on her face, and her green eyes twinkling. And Harry felt his eyes sting as he held the scarf close. He inhaled the old scent, but he knew that it’d been well taken care of all these years. He bit his lip to refrain from crying in front of all these people. He didn’t want them to worry. 

He raised his eyes to Severus’s, and in that instant, he knew one thing, and one thing only.

He loved Severus Snape with everything in his being.

He loved his wit, his charm, his sarcasm, his past, his mistakes, and how he’d tried to fix them, the man was a puzzle, and Harry was irrevocably, undoubtedly, infatuated with him. He stood, still holding the scarf to his chest, and he held that dark gaze in front of him. Severus was frozen, judging his reaction. Harry gave it a moment before he smiled, and stepped forward, wrapped his arms around Severus’s neck, and buried his face in the man’s chest.

He could worry about the stares later, right now all he did was squeeze the man tighter, and press his body closer. He didn’t need Severus to hug him back, but when the man did Harry’s heart stopped for a moment. 

_ I love you, Severus Snape, I hope to tell you every day from now on. _

* * *

It was much past that now, and Harry was in the kitchen, by himself, everyone else having gone to bed after a bit too much wine and butterbeer. He held a cold glass of water in his hands and almost shamefully sighed. He’d hoped that Severus would hear him coming downstairs and follow, but perhaps the man had indeed fallen asleep. He gulped down most of it, before setting it quietly on the counter, he had plans tomorrow, perhaps it was best he went to bed as well. He turned to leave only to bump into the one person he hadn’t talked to since he’d hugged Severus.

Sirius.

Now Harry knew he had no reason to be afraid, but that didn’t mean his hands didn’t begin to tremor, or that his mouth went dry, or that his eyes widened to the point where it certainly looked like he was afraid. Because if he was being honest he’d been scared shitless by Sirius standing there, looking like he was about to do something he didn’t want to.

“S-Sirius,” Harry cursed himself internally for the stutter. “What are you doing? I thought you were in bed.”

“I thought the same of you,” Sirius replied seemingly disinterested, and he grabbed himself a cup of water, filling it up. Harry watched him sit at the table, and he was then gestured to follow. Harry did, and he was happy that the weight had been taken from his legs, he felt like he was about to collapse.

“Are you waiting for someone?” Harry felt his throat tighten before he shook his head, but Sirius continued anyway. “Ms. Granger perhaps?” When Harry continued to shake his head, Sirius narrowed his eyes.

“Someone else then?” He said, and it was clear by the tone of his voice, Harry wouldn’t be able to leave very easily. Harry tried to swallow but he slowly shook his head, he felt his heart hammer in his chest and only one thought was playing on repeat right now in his head.

_ Severus help me. _

He couldn’t do this, he was panicking, his chest hurt and he couldn’t meet Sirius’s eyes. He called out to Severus’s being with his heart, with his magic and hoped beyond hope that he would come through that door, that he could escape, that-

“ _Don’t_ _lie to me._ ” The cold sound of Sirius’s voice was a tremor to Harry’s mind, and he felt everything in him shut down at the sound of his Guardians’ voice. Sirius rarely spoke to him like that and it didn’t mean anything good.

“Harry,” Harry didn’t look up but Sirius didn’t care. “There’s something you aren’t telling me, I’ll give you this chance to tell me what  _ exactly _ that thing is,” Sirius spoke no further, and Harry could hear his heart in his ears. The rushing blood did nothing to quell his anxiety and he could feel his chest seize and try to gather air into his lungs but he couldn’t function. All he could do was stare at the old wood of Sirius’s table and hope to Merlin that a miracle would save him.

“ _ Now _ ,” Sirius said and Harry felt tears of fear gather in his eyes. He was going to give them away, oh god, no it would be the end of their love, he would lose the man that he loved and it would be all his fault.

“I-”

“Harassing your god-son doesn’t seem to be getting you anywhere now does it Black?” That stony voice annoyingly chimed in and Harry felt like all the weight in the world was gone for but a moment, but the second he looked up and met Sirius’s angered eyes he knew they weren’t out of the woods yet.

“Shut it Snivellus, if I wanted to hear the truth from you, I’d go to you.”

“What truth are you looking for exactly? The truth that Potter stayed up in hopes that Ms. Lovegood would visit him at this late hour? Or the truth that he is secretly going to visit her tomorrow? You know, I’d always heard mutts were smart but you seem to put that saying to shame Black.” Severus gave Sirius a cruel smirk and then when Sirius whipped his eyes to Harry, Severus’s face softened into an encouraging smile.

“Harry, is this true?” Due to the conditions, Harry blushed profusely, being under such scrutiny would do that to someone, he was lucky it worked in his favor for the time being. He nodded and averted his gaze.

Sirius whipped to look at Severus again.

“And do tell Snivillus how did you know of their escapades? Surly Harry hasn’t been telling a greasy git like you about his love affairs.” Harry flared at the insults Sirius threw at his lover, but knew he had to calm down, they were almost out of the woods.

“It is not my fortune that I managed to catch them snogging in the corridors near my office Black,” Severus took the time to roll his eyes. “As for Harry’s trip tomorrow, he simply requested I told no one in case you all got nosy. Moot point now as you can see, but your efforts are applauded Black, you’ve officially made the boy uncomfortable.” Sirius bristled, but looked at Harry rather than striking back. Harry shrunk in his seat under the heavy gaze.

Sirius said nothing as he stood. He reached over and clapped Harry on the shoulder, and only then did Harry look up and meet his smiling godfather’s face.

“That’s my boy,” Sirius said, before he excused himself, and left the room. They didn’t move until they were sure he was in bed. Harry let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding in. He rubbed his eyes before he looked at Snape again, seeing the smug smile there.

He laughed before saying, “You just became so much sexier I hope you know.” Harry said.

The flustered blush that traversed Severus’s face was by far the best part of his day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh god I'm so tired and sorry. I'm so sorry that it's taken me this long to get this chapter out, homework is literally killing me and I can barely keep up with my classes right now. Honestly, I'm stressed, but I'm very happy to finally have this out, initially, I wrote this month back I just never had time to work on it! I love you guys! Thanks for reading this chapter!


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